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Note

Unlike other lore documents; This is a semi-standalone light novella set in the ATET universe.

It is a work in progress adaptation of an original work that inspired the universe of ATET. Many aspects of the story and setting are still evolving, some still undetermined.

Prologue

Be introduced to the divine and bask in the calamity of me.

At its core, this is a story about a very unusual girl: ✨Me✨

I am a goddess crafted in my own image.

From the bones of the street I am formed, painted in a collage of all those shadows most dim. The blood of a thousand foes defeated is my sacrament. The obsessive contemplations of a thousand lovers are my scripture. I am bound to no one.

Listen to my tale and know it brings you the touch of the eternal divine. Aspire. But do not be fooled: to go my way will bring your demise. To understand my legend is to know this is preferable to the alternative.

We will begin on the day I chose to discard the name Xxxxx, for it was lowly and given to me by the primitive inhabitants of the former world. You may refer to me by the name I have chosen for myself: Nyx.

It was the eighteenth anniversary of my inhabitation of the first flesh. My perfection was an argument my progenitors’ home could not contain. They saw a disgusting mutation of a son lost; the world saw a transcendent beauty. I had started reshaping my physical form some time earlier. From a young age I had found the initial, male anatomy almost entirely unsuitable. I didn’t let it get to me but when the opportunity arose, the endless creds available through my games saw their first purpose. So perhaps; they were not wrong. A goddess had possessed their son, and he was gone now. I had perfected my form.

So I took my new face, my new name, and my boundless ambition; and I walked out their door for the last time. The street became my temple.

I was a slight and small girl, barely a hundred pounds even if I was soaking wet. A bit on the short side, too. But I was never intimidated. I stayed strapped and I had been in my fair share of scraps. A few trips to lockdown had taught me more about myself. Showed me my limits: none; and my strengths: boundless. I knew how to contort my way out of an intense situation before it got out of my control. I was cold and hardened and no amount of adrenaline would cloud my mind. I knew no fear.

The games called to me at night, and I would always answer.

Chapter One

Learn the ways of the First Cofounder.

Follow along as we, collectively, fall in love with the First Blade. Bow to my holy Instrument of Force. Never believe the cries of the fallen; he is not a mindless weapon. He is a sentient weapon: a blade that thinks, that calculates its own trajectory, that chooses its own targets. His violence is not impulsive; it is the final, logical output of a complex and ruthless decision-making process. Take pride in the process. Take inspiration.

• Part the First •

Wherein you will learn of my first love, and my first home.

The story of how we met carries great meaning to me.

I’d been playing pimp again for a couple of girlfriends of mine, and had to shake down a guy who didn’t want to pay. I showed up to the mark’s house on foot, having walked from nearby to make a discrete approach into the situation. Pausing just across the street, I sized things up for a moment.

One spruced up jalopy sitting shitty in the drive, matched the description my girl gave me. He was definitely here. Several more crawlers on the street nearby, though. Might just be him, might be more folks. I crossed the street casually. There was a shed next to the house with various tools laying about, so I took a moment to poke around; found something I liked. Girl said this mark was on the smaller side, I probably wouldn’t need it; but it’s good to be resourceful when the opportunity presents itself.

I knocked on the door and stepped back a good distance. Always made sure to give myself some room to play. I put my right hand on my lower back, concealing what I was holding. I heard commotion inside but he left me waiting a while. I dragged my cigarette, tapped my toe to the beat of a song that was stuck in my head. Looked at the sky. It was a gorgeous day, for winter. Warm and sunny. I was in a great mood, enjoying myself.

I was excited for the day’s work, it was yet another chance to better the life of someone lesser than me. By force, I hoped.

Finally the bastard got around to opening the door. Looked like shit, to my utmost lack of surprise. Short, scrawny guy, just as I’d been informed. He was wearing an oversized white t-shirt, some sort of stain on the collar. Cut off jeans, tall socks above some busted kicks. Disheveled greasy hair in his face, and in need of a shave. He was on something, probably many things. This would be easy.

He looked me over, sizing me up; we hadn’t met before. He clearly liked what he saw and had different ideas about the direction this might go. “Hey there sugar,” he coughed out, clearing his throat before continuing, “what can Eddy do for your fine ass today?” He tried to look cool. He looked like an underutilized garbage bag to me. I smiled sweetly, shifted my weight, let him get himself drunk on my appearance as I looked him over one more time. Finally I dropped the pretense and cut straight to the point, saying bluntly “You got my money, cocksucker?”

His demeanor changed rather dramatically. “The fuck you talkin’, lil trick? I ain’t even know you. What fuckin’ money?” he growled at me. I smiled at him again and said “Nah, you don’t know me yet. You know my girl Kaycie. She did some work for you, you didn’t pay. Now you’re gonna.” He was already pushing his chest out now, posturing up. He forced a fake laugh as though what I said was preposterous, and responded with “She ain’t say nothing ‘bout no creds. I got her high, we hooked up. It was all chill and shit.”

I just shook my head and hit him back “My girls aren’t stupid, Eddy. You fuckin’ had an agreement. Now where’s my money?” Pausing a moment to catch one last drag off my cigarette, I flicked it and finished my thoughts on the matter “It’s two hundred for the night, and another fifty since I had to come over to this shit hole to get it from you.” I punctuated this with a couple steps toward him, keeping them casual, even a bit flirty. Attempting to close some distance without setting off any serious alarms for him yet.

He bristled up more and started yelling at me “I ain’t givin’ you no two hundred fuckin’ fifty cred! I ain’t even seen you before bitch!” I let my hand slip from behind my back, revealing the crowbar I was holding. I tapped it against the shin of my boot as I said simply “You will.” After a pause, I slowly took a couple more steps towards him. He eyed me up and down, judging whether I had what it took.

He judged wrong, saying “You don’t got what it takes, the fuck you thinkin’?” I laughed, knowing he’d be way too slow to stop me from kneecapping him given the level of influence he was under. I was about to push in further when I sensed some movement in the house behind him. A bit later he picked up on it too, turned his head. I thought about pressing the advantage but knew I should wait to see what would emerge from the shadows. “Grey I fuckin’ got this, chill bro.” he half-yelled as a figure appeared behind him in the doorway.

This Grey guy seemed a different kind of fellow, even at first glance. Brooding, well put together. I guessed he was around his mid-twenties.

He was tall and lanky, around six feet tall and weighing perhaps a hundred and thirty pounds, but he was carved of pure muscle. He had a baby face, clean shaven, but the hard mark of the life showed through it anyway. He had a single braid in his shoulder length dirty blonde hair, a few black beads in it. His skin was adorned with many tattoos and piercings, some done by hand, others professionally. Beneath his left eye he had scrawled the words “ALREADY DEAD.” Many rings looped through his cartilage, and half inch gauges tugged at his lobes. His right hand bore the image of an ornate black flower, complimented by abstract tribal forms gracing the length of his arm.

In any case, this explained why Eddy was posturing so much. Thinking this might make things difficult, I subtly let the crowbar slip back behind my back.

He surprised me with his appeal. He was so visibly driven and gorgeous.

“Don’t fuckin’ yell at me dickhead. The fuck’s going on?” Grey mumbled in a dark tone from behind him. Eddy replied, still too loud “Lil bitch says I owe her money from fuckin’ Kaycie the other night, load of shit man just go sit down this ain’t your business.” Grey was quiet for a moment. Contemplative guy, interesting. He was doing intense calculations on some relevant social formulae. Finally he spoke again, monotone “I was here that night. Kaycie did say you’d owe her.” Eddy was instantly livid. This would work to my favor after all. Eddy was full-on yelling again, spewing at Grey “Man have a nigga’s back Grey the fuck is wrong with you bro? It wasn’t like that.”

Grey raised an eyebrow, mumbling another iteration of his previous “Don’t fuckin’ yell at me dickhead.” I decided to press; if I antagonized Eddy enough this could get very interesting. “Listen, Ed.” I said, and he looked back at me again. I let the bar be seen once more, as I continued “Everybody knows you owe me, just do the right thing.” Eddy took a step down out of the doorway, onto the walk in front of me. In the corner of my eye, I saw Grey form fists. Perfect. I pressed more “You don’t want to make me feel like you might put hands on me bud.”

Eddy laughed, and gave me the threat I wanted “I’m bouta teach you all sorta shit bout puttin’ hands on a bitch.” He took another step toward me and I saw the calculation complete in Grey’s mind. The results were in: Eddy was a liability; I was an opportunity. The choice was simple math. He spoke with volume for the first time “Eddy you bitch ass fuckin’ faggot.” Eddy stopped, cocked his head, mumbled “You know this bitch, Grey?” Grey replied, in a stern tone “I’ve heard of her. That’s Nyx. That’s not the point though, fuckface. You really gonna try and stiff a sweet girl like Kaycie? And that ain’t enough, now you’re gonna fight a chick? You’re fuckin’ trash man. Pay her. Give her the damn creds, or you and I are gonna have a problem.”

I was beaming as he finished. This was a golden moment. Eddy studied my smiling face a moment, weighing his options. He seethed “Grey I’m gonna fucking push your shit in for this you two faced bitch” as he turned back around, his posture switching fully into a fighting stance. This was my moment. I took two final quick steps forward and wound up the crowbar, then clipped him in the left knee with maximum force. The noise was incredible. Grey was already geared to go too, and he punched Eddy in the face almost simultaneously.

It was violent serendipity; I was joyous.

All of a sudden Eddy was laid out on the cement path, writhing. He held his knee as blood dribbled out of his nose. He sputtered “I’ma fuckin’ kill the both of you I swear to god.” Grey just leaned against the doorway and said nothing. He stretched his hand a couple of times, then crossed his arms, amicably waiting to see what would happen next. I laughed and said “Yeah, when you can fucking walk go ‘head and hit me up. Now where’s my money?” He glared curses at me and said nothing, so I kicked him in the ribs and inquired again “Where the fuck are my god damn credits, shitdick?” I could feel Grey smiling now.

Eddy rolled to his side and pulled his wallet from his pocket. I snatched it from his hands and he groaned “Bitch fuck you! Just take what you said I owed! Don’t fucking rob me.” I looked in his wallet, tapped the display on his stack. Over five hundred creds there. Dumbass clout chaser. I mumbled “Asshole tax.” and kicked him again. He coughed up “Ah you fucking cunt!” and went fetal. I looked at Grey, who had a half-amused smirk on his face as he finally spoke again “You’re a fuckin’ baddie, huh?” His delivery was sarcastic and genuine at the same time. I decided he truly was something different, and concluded I wouldn’t play coy, saying “You probably better be getting out of here ‘much as me. You wanna give me a ride?”

“Aight lemme grab my shit, you can go ahead and hop in if you want.” he said coolly. He gestured at a large rig across the street, as he clicked the remote unlocking it and flashing the lights. The smog seals hissed as the crawler doors raised on their own. I thought it was a pretty sick ride, big guard on the front, roll bars in the back. Custom rear-end. Heavy duty running boards, mud flares, oversized off road wheels. Everything completely blacked out. Gave a strong vibe of “bullet proof glass and armor panels embedded in the bodywork.”

I knew right then why he was there, why he didn’t feel the need to have what I had originally thought was his boy’s back. Eddy was just a customer, Grey was just taking care of business. Without a doubt a dealer of some kind, and doing quite god damn well by the looks of it. I knew then that we were going to be friends. I gave him a cute gesture, then looked at the lump of Eddy; indicating that I’d be happy for the ride but I wasn’t quite ready to hop in yet. I still had one more item of business to take care of with the pile on the ground.

Grey turned and disappeared back into the tiny house, and I lingered over Eddy who was still groaning and holding his knee. I watched him agonizing for a minute, enjoying myself. When I’d had my fill of suffering, I squatted down beside him. I rested the bar on his shoulder. When he looked up at me, I said “Listen, lil man. You ever fuck a cute whore in this town again, you best check; make double sure she isn’t one of my girls. You’re cut off. Consider yourself lucky.”

He spit and cussed me, grumbling something to the effect of “Fuck you, hoe. This isn’t over.” I shifted to a knee and pressed the curly end of the crowbar into his throat, threatening to cut off his air, and said “It is over, bitch. Say it or you’ll wish you had.” He choked out an agreement and I stood up, stepped over the garbage and threw down the crowbar beside its head.

I hopped up into the doorway, peering inside the hovel. The place was unsightly, trash everywhere. “Wow, what a shithole. As if a classy girl like Kaycie woulda fucked you for free. Fuckin’ clown.” I mused. Grey emerged from the kitchen and gave another wry smile, saying “Yeah I honestly don’t know what the fuck I was doing here.” He sort of caught himself on something there, then laughed and said “Well… To be real, I’ve been charging him like; double, sometimes triple my normal rate. It’s too easy with this typ-” He stopped himself again, but for the opposite reason. It was as if he was having a debate with himself at all times.

“The guys always been a sack of shit, is uh; the point, though.” He finally concluded, grabbing a bag of glimmerweed I wasn’t sure was his or Eddy’s. Stuffing it in his pocket, he said “You all finished? I sure as fuck am.” I just nodded and smiled at him, and we walked out; stepping over the mark once more and hopping in Grey’s rig.

Bit different than I expected, but it all worked out nicely.

As has always been my way, I came out on top.

As we drove, I offered him a decent cut of the creds from Eddy’s wallet. “I really appreciate you having my back.” I said, holding out a couple of bills for him. He declined “Nah thanks, I was just doing the right thing. You really wanna make it up to me, you could come chill with me, maybe blow some clouds.” So he was dealing ice, I surmised. In any case, I thought that was a great plan, so I let him know “Fuck yeah, I just gotta swing by and see Kaycie real quick, if you’re chill.” He nodded so I told him how to get there.

I offered him a cigarette and he rolled the windows down. I pulled the cred stack from the wallet and tossed the gross bit of leather out the window, still occupied by his ID card, ration tokens, holos of his family and other things I didn’t care for. After that I buzzed the creds to my own wallet and tossed the stack, and then we set about enjoying the rest of the warmth left in the late winter day. He turned up the music and we bumped our way to Kaycie’s, already vibing together. It was a short crawl, Kaycie preferred to stick to her neighborhood for work; made it easier getting home after the job. I buzzed her comm as we cruised, letting her know we would be dropping by.

When we pulled up out front of her apartment she was sitting on the stairs, happy to see me as usual. She skipped over to the rig and stood on the running board, leaning in the window to give me a hug. “Hey girlie, you doin’ okay?” I asked her. She nodded big and grinned, giggling a simple response “Yes mama. Things are good.” I transferred her two hundred cred. “That guy was a real piggy, you deserve this.” I told her, smiling. She squeaked, kissed my cheek, and said “Thank you so much. Sorry for the trouble!” I winked at her and joked “What trouble?” I motioned for her to hop down off the door, then opened it.

She climbed up and sat on my lap. I shared my cigarette with her. We had a few things to discuss, business and casual. She told me about some new clients, I filled her in on what had happened with Eddy. Informed her that she was not to do business with him anymore, and instructed her to let her girlfriends know the same. Told her about one of my new toys. She said hi to Grey and he gave a nod and a gentle smile. Very gentlemanly, I thought. They caught up a bit too, and the three of us chatted shit for a while, but she had to get back inside to her baby girl in short order. I gave her a kiss goodbye, pinched her butt. Grey said he was sure he’d see her around sometime.

Soon we were back on the roadway, on our way to Grey’s trap. We smoked more cigarettes and jammed more music. There was a bit of subtle but suggestive eye contact with him. It was a chill journey, though it took a while; essentially sending us across half the outer hub. I enjoyed the ride thoroughly, he had good taste in music and I was becoming more and more caught up with the thought that he was a gorgeous boy. It was a very unusual feeling for me, and I wondered what would come of it. Wondered what his business expertise would turn out to be, and if I had deduced correctly. I sang along with some of the songs he was playing and he looked amused. I could tell he was at least a bit infatuated himself.

Around an hour and a half after we’d left Kaycie’s, we were rather deep into a run down neighborhood. The roadways were breaking down, walkways rough from the roots of trees now overgrown. Some of the houses were boarded up, tall grass half obscuring them. Others were clearly occupied, but almost all were in disrepair. It was plain to see where the money was coming from around here, when the few houses that were fixed up well had things like low-rise crawlers with spinners and neons parked in their lots.

After some time bouncing down the rough asphalt, we finally scooted into a paved crawlway in front of a weathered two story house. It was somewhere in the middle of the spectrum of disrepair for the area. It had a sizable yard surrounded by a low chainwire fence; the grass was trimmed. There was a rusty crawler shed, with something under a tarp that I guessed from the shape might be used for racing. Vibrant red paint peaked out from the corners. Grey pulled up behind it and proceeded to shut down the oversized rig, as I gazed up at the beautifully gloomy house. The area and the house itself seemed to me to be rough in all the right ways, and immediately endeared me in much the same way Grey himself had. It felt like we belonged there.

The house appeared to me as a blank canvas appears to a painter.

He’d inherited the house from his grandparents, already in disarray when he got it. They’d left it abandoned for a while, after the neighborhood went to hell. One of the neighbors had gotten murked or something and they moved out the same cycle, leaving much of the contents of the house where they lay. The minimal furniture it had now was either theirs, or traded from junkies.

He’d turned on the water meter himself, dodging the ration rates because the corpos would rarely come into the neighborhood. The only bill he had was the energy, and with few appliances or lights, it was cheap. He said he was just playing the games and biding his time, stacking credits. I wondered what he was sorting through mentally, to be so comfortable with this slow paced lifestyle. I thought, perhaps that was just his way; but combined with the brooding energy he exuded, it gave me a sense of long term contemplation.

Ragged shag covered the living room. Wood paneling choked the walls to the halfway point, followed by plain white plaster the rest of the way up. There was a matching set of a plush but weathered sofa and chair, pairing with the aesthetic of the room. An ancient wooden-box style cathode tube scanner sat on the floor beyond a coffee table. Atop the tube scanner sat a brand new extra-wide plasma scanner, no doubt traded for dope. The coffee table was laden with recreational gear such as bongs and oil burners, a blow torch. I guessed there might be light bulbs once in a while. A lonely spoon hinted toward the occasional presence of other types of equipment.

Connected to the plasma scanner were an assortment of gaming devices, with games and peripherals scattered around the floor nearby. A nice looking though rickety end table sat beside the chair, with a beautiful but cracked glass shaded lamp resting atop it. On the wall was a large oblong mirror, framed elaborately in darkwood. There was a painting similarly framed, depicting a lake and some mountains. The room absolutely oozed with the haunting ectoplasmic energy of the older generation’s conservative mentality.

The kitchen was spartan. Grimy linoleum, tacky wallpaper. A refrigeration unit that was older than Grey and cookware with only one working burner. The countertop featured several bottles of various spirits, and a microwave induction cooker that actually seemed quite modern and expensive, likely another trade. The ornate dining table would have contrasted brightly with everything else, another family heirloom, if not for the cigarette burns and paraphernalia that scattered its surface.

The table was complimented well by the mismatched assortment of chairs gathered around. Most of them were better suited to the lawn, though a few were crafted fancifully from wood matching the table. At one end of the table sat a set of scales and a plasticware box with what I estimated was around a key of ice and various other elicit commodities, along with a collection of small empty bags. Beside this there was a lovely black nine millimeter model twenty-nine with an extended magazine dangling out of the grip.

There had been one bedroom on the ground floor, which Grey had made into a storage room. He had a set of a few long guns against the wall, and there was a table in the middle of the room with even more drugs stacked on it. There was another pistol, this one a ten millimeter model nineteen year eleven, with a chrome-like finish and wood grips. A short sword with no pommel that I thought resembled a machete laid across the table as well. He said he’d been gifted it by his teacher some years before and that it meant a lot to him.

There was a collection of knives, including a big hunting knife, some switchblades and a matching pair of black tantos. A black backpack sat open on the floor next to the table. In the corner was a toolbox, with a few tools like crowbars, hammers, screwdrivers and various electrical equipment piled up beside it. He had quite the array of gear.

A little bed sat in the corner, unused. I assumed it was something of a fallback point if he needed it.

He said the closet had a safe in it he’d conned off some corporate bimbo. Though he’d implied it was stuffed with maxed out cred stacks, the reality was still impressive. The door to that room was solid and it had a plasteel deadbolt installed in it. He had covered up the windows with resin-impregnated polywood, anchored into the structure. This place was like his private fucking vault. As I looked around, I felt a sense of pride in him; as though I knew him not as an acquaintance, but as a brother.

The back of the house held a laundry room with nothing in it, the appliances broken down decades before. Grey said he could have bought new ones, but he frequently picked up new business at the laundromat so he kept up that routine. He had covered the window on the back door with a quilt, and it was always deadbolted and chained shut. There were stairs there leading to a very dank basement, from which you could smell the must wafting up into the room. He said there was nothing down there but the fuse grid, mold from where it would flood during big rainstorms, and some old boxes of his grandparents’ shit.

There was a small half bath, originally rather unremarkable and quite similar to the kitchen. Matching linoleum, freestanding ceramic sink. A medicine cabinet that wouldn’t quite shut right; more of Grey’s gear jamming the latch. It was unusual in one, stark regard: He’d cut a drain straight into the floor and installed a showerhead above it. It was a kind of decon station: wash off the dirt and possibly, the evidence; before it contaminates the rest of the house. Fucking genius. I wondered how often he came home that nasty, though.

Last on the ground was his grandfather’s old office. It was home to an antique business scanner; it sat atop an ornate wood desk, with a big leather office chair nested beneath it. There were filing cabinets overflowing into the room with tons of documents that Grey had no interest in sorting out. Everything in that room was covered in a few decades worth of dust, and it still reeked like old people when it got hot. I began crafting plans for this room immediately.

The upper floor was much more unfinished than the main one. The carpet had been ripped out, presumably too disgusting for even a ghoul to stomach. The hardwood floors which had been revealed likely had been nice a hundred years previous, but now threatened the feet of anyone who dared tread upon them barefoot. It was quite naked, just some empty rooms with various things on the floor to make sleeping there less of a pain for the folks who occasionally crashed after some binge, or between jobs.

Stacks of blankets, a foam pad or two. Bare walls, bare windows. Lights in the ceiling missing bulbs, long ago scavenged for glass to smoke ice and other shit. The room nearest the stairs was completely empty because the floor was even more treacherous than the rest, threatening not only to impale but to swallow.

The bathroom was spacious, and well-appointed; but it was now a dismal ceramic hole. The mirror was cracked, the white tiles embedded in white grout were now stained yellow on black with no hope of redemption. The fixtures functioned but would run brown from the rusty pipes for half a minute before being usable.

Grey’s room capped everything off, being the one well furnished room upstairs. None of the furniture was modern, but it was in decent condition. There was a quite nice king size mahogany poster bed, decently dressed in high thread count linens. It had matching nightstands on either side of it, one with a lamp, the other with an ornate glass ashtray.

Beside the bed sat a large three column dresser with an attached mirror. It was covered in jewelry, mostly earrings and gauges, along with some cologne and other items. Near the closet there was a sizable armoire, which seemed to mostly hold jackets and some shoes. The closet itself was large and absolutely brimming with stylish clothing.

Even the floor seemed less treacherous than the rest. The walls were covered in posters and art he had drawn.

His room stood in stark contrast to everything else, but I found it made perfect sense. Grey knew how to take care of himself, and that was what mattered to him. The rest of the house was serving its purpose in a different way. Here he wanted comfort, and he had seen to it that he would have it.

His trap was absolutely idyllic, beautiful and in every way ideally suited to its purposes.

• Part the Second •

Wherein you will learn of our first days together.

These first days shall set the tone of our life to come.

After he showed me around a bit, we returned to the kitchen. He picked up a small speaker, turned it on; told me to connect my comm tablet and play some music. He weighed out an eightball of ice as I put on something chill. We migrated to the living room, and he sat on the couch. I sat next to him, closer than I had to. He threw the little bag of dope on the table, cleaned up a burner a bit, then opened the bag and moved a large crystal into the glass. He made eye contact with me again, as he struck a lighter and melted the ice.

I smiled at him and his eyes went half-hooded, he smirked and licked his lips subtly then returned his focus to his task. He blew off the first smoke and then took a fairly large hit, passing me the burner when he was done. I rolled it slowly, teasing it with the flame of my lighter. I took the biggest cloud I could hold and filled the room with it. He laughed and said “Yeah she fucks around.” sort of to himself. I grinned dumbly, saying “No sense in taking it easy on the dealer’s glass, right? I’ll just buzz you some cred if we need more.”

We continued blowing clouds and listening to music for quite some time. At first the conversation was sparse, but neither of us felt awkward. It was pleasant, almost like we were already old friends. After a while though, we were tweaking pretty hard, and our discussions picked up a pace. We discussed our beliefs and convictions on various topics. We shared stories of our past, tales of business and pleasure. He walked me through some of the girls he’d been with. I told him about my adventures hunting in the clubs, and of the girls I’d taken care of.

He shared similar hunting stories to my own, though his methods were different. He liked to punk guys he found inferior, taking their money and leaving them to whine about it. He did it for fun, he had plenty of cred. There were just some “people,” we agreed, who needed to be victimized. So that they could learn the error of their ways and grow. It was righteous retribution. He talked about how Eddy was hurting for a beating for a while now, and said he felt bad it had taken me showing up to get him to do it. Said he wouldn’t let shit like that slide anymore, he’d come up enough that his social calculus needed an update.

The hours melted away fast like the ice in the burner and at some point we found it was well after dark. Conversation lulled again and eye contact went up. We made crazy eyes at each other. I thought we might be flirting a bit, but it was hard to tell given our state. Might have just been talking shit. After a while he said something like “I got some art supplies in my room” and I hopped up immediately. “Fuck we waitin’ on?” I said, grinning. He chuckled a bit, said “Fine fine.” and we gathered our kit, heading upstairs.

We sat on his bed at either side, leaning against the wall and facing each other. The ice and the glass were placed between us, along with a basket holding a bunch of pens, colored pencils, and various other drawing utensils. He passed me a notebook; it was empty and ready for me to make my own.

He pulled out another for himself, which he had nearly filled with art already. Its pages were drenched in ornate designs, many of them suitable for tattoos. There were the occasional cartoons, depicting various ironic and morbid scenarios. Distributed throughout were also sequences comprised of a few pages each, wherein he had written poems and short stories. It was a lovely book of madness.

I set about sketching a portrait of him in a dark age, comic style. He looked beautiful leaned against the wall, focused on an abstract tribal design he was penning. I focused on capturing his jawline. The way the light bent around his cheekbones. The loose flow of his hair and its juxtaposition with the intricate weaving in his single braid. I took my time with his eyes, and was careful with the text he had scrawled beneath. Studying him this way, I noticed a few scars I hadn’t picked up on before. I wondered what their stories were as I inscribed them on the page.

I quietly said “Is it okay if I ask you something?” not wanting to interrupt his train of thought if he was too in the zone. He replied in a soft tone as well “Yeah sure. This abstract stuff doesn’t take much thought. What’s up, gorgeous?” I had to pretend that him calling me gorgeous in that tone of voice didn’t take me off guard and make me feel a bit frazzled. I just smiled and continued, selecting his most visually significant of scars to inquire about “Where did that scar through your right eyebrow come from?”

He frowned a bit and I studied the lines that formed in his face for reference in further drawing. Reaching up and touching the scar, he contemplated the events that had imprinted themselves on his skin.

“It was around the time I first started moving ice.” He began, and contrary to his previous statement he stopped drawing as he considered his movements through the story. He continued “There was this guy. Charmaine, everybody called him. Probably wasn’t his real name. Anyways, he thought he was a big dog, y’know how those dudes are.” I gave a knowing nod. I’d encountered too many of those men myself.

He resumed his story again “He talked big game so I fronted him a decent bag. I knew he wouldn’t be good for it, if I’m honest. I wanted to put him in a spot, check him and shit.” I was enamored with his games nearly as much as my own. Figured I wouldn’t have gotten cut though. He went on to say “About a week later he still hadn’t come up, so I went to see him. Bitch came at me straight out the gate with a fuckin’ blade, didn’t even try to play at words. Just went in. Really pissed me off.” I loathed the type.

I responded “So he cut your face? What’d you do?” He seemed to take his time thinking about how he wanted to answer. I knew he was deciding whether he could trust me. He murmured “Yeah, he tried to take my eye, fuckin’ bastard.” and thought a bit more before finally, he said simply “I fucking killed him.”

He stared into my eyes, reading my mind. I was instantly aroused; felt my skin go flush.

“You got bodies?” I whispered, breathless. Something flashed in his eyes and he said “Just the one. What, you like that shit?” I realized I’d showed my hand a bit and just smiled, looking away for a moment. “That shit gets me wet, to be real with you.” I lamented, gazing at him through the corners of my eyes. He laughed at me and I shoved his shoulder playfully.

After sharing the levity a bit I inquired “How the fuck did you get away with that shit, though? Does it worry you at all?” He picked up his pen and went back to drawing, indicating to me he was closing the door on the topic.

After a moment, he gave a short reply “He had a lot of enemies, and no one to care. Solve rate in this city is super low, anyway. I don’t really think about it.” I smiled darkly at him. Being so tweaked up, neither of us had an issue putting aside the tension and returning to our art. It was quiet for a bit, and we shared another bowl of dope.

I felt as though he’d stepped straight out of my most sensual dreams.

I wondered if this was what he was taking his time contemplating, but he seemed at peace with it. I decided I’d interview him further, asking him “So do you have a lot of experience with fighting then?” He smiled and nodded, saying “Yeah, I did martials in high school. I took to it pretty well. Parents thought it’d help me focus myself. Guess it did, but not in the way they’d hoped.”

He looked at his hands as he continued “I started getting in fights at school. Ended up kinda fallin’ off early senior year. Was mostly on the streets after that. More fighting.” I smiled, appreciating his story. He finished the bit of exposition with “My parents wouldn’t let me back in the house at some point. I was lucky my grandparents left me this place.”

I nodded in understanding, replying “Yeah, I feel you. I could probably go home but I can’t fuckin’ stand’em. I’ve been on the streets a minute too.” He studied my face as I said it, questioning just how much it was that we shared.

Around that time I finally finished up my sketch of him. He loved it, saying “Wow, you have some real talent. That’s fuckin’ sick.” I tore it from the notebook and gave it to him. “Wait, sign it for me.” he said. I did and he tacked it up on the wall next to some stuff other friends of his had drawn. He showed me the tribal design he’d been working on, and mused “It’s nothing as intricate as what you can do. I just enjoy thinking of these being carved into skin.”

I shook my head at his self deprecation and reassured him “It’s beautiful. I’d love to get some of your designs on me at some point. I need more ink.” He smiled and replied “I could do that for you. Got me a poke and stick kit downstairs.” I nodded and said “Fuck yeah, lemme think over what I’d like. Maybe we can do that a lil later?” He returned my nod. We put down the art supplies and laid on our backs, staring at his ceiling and talking abstract shit.

“I’m trans by the way.” I said, sort of out of the blue. He turned his head and looked at me, saying quietly “Yeah I know. Well I mean, I’d heard. I don’t give a shit, for what it’s worth. Just a girl to me.” I turned my head and looked at him too. “How insulting!” I joked. He rolled his eyes and looked back at the ceiling, matching my sarcasm with “Well fuck me for trying to be an ally and shit I guess.” We laughed together and I said “Nah I appreciate it, that’s really nice to hear.” I nudged his side and he turned over to face me again, asking “Is it… hard? Like, do people give you shit for it?”

I stared at the ceiling for a while before I answered “Before, all I had was enemies; there was no one to care. People in this city are too busy with their own shit, anyway. I don’t really think about it.” He touched my arm, brushing along the length of it as he said “You’re so soft. I don’t know how anybody could see something wrong.” His hand reached mine and he stopped just short of interlacing his fingers with my own, returning to his side.

After a moment, he added an afterthought “Kinda funny how that response paralleled what I said earlier though.” I turned over and looked at him again. “Yeah I done caught a body too.” I said without sarcasm.

The way he elucidated the parallel made me feel truly understood.

The hours slid into days. We wound up holed away in his trap for a week straight. Business was placed aside. We had no thought of sleep, and we ate nothing. Ice doesn’t eliminate those needs; it merely makes you unaware of your vessel consuming itself. It equally cannot provide hydration, and so we drank water from the rusty tap, knowing dehydration brings death, even if you don’t feel it. I lost the last of my baby fat and gained a bit of a rasp in my voice. All we felt we needed was the deep stimulation we received from our conversations, from our shared intellect, values and experiences. We found we were similar in so many ways, and had constructed most compatible moralities in our time on the streets.

It was fate that we’d met, and the way in which we had seemed particularly apt. It was a most propitious occasion, and we both agreed it held significant meaning. We soon arrived on the notion that we would be friends until the end. Despite the initial tension though, we kept it platonic. Maybe it was the drugs or the depth of intellectual stimulation, perhaps both. In any case, we just didn’t seem to find a need or a juncture at which to cross that line for some time.

Around the fourth day though, we started taking nerve-tabs to combat the edge of paranoia that comes around when you go that long without sleep. It was a nice mixed high, both wired and relaxed, and our dynamic started to shift toward something slightly more intimate.

Sometime thereafter was when I finally decided I was ready for my tattoo. I told him I was, and he let me look through his notebooks, hunting for a design I liked. Eventually I found something nice, settling on a tribal star shape, about the size of a cred stack. I spent a few hours sketching it out myself, changing a few things and adding details I liked. The interior of the star held a fractal-like pattern comprised of more stars. I told him I wanted it behind my right ear. It would be stipple-shaded and feature no hard lines or color blocks, giving it a very ephemeral appearance.

After I was done refining the design he had me take off my shirt and lay on the coffee table. He straddled across me, I tied up my hair and he went to work. The poke and stick kit was wonderfully painful and we both had a great time as he carefully injected the design into my flesh over the next few hours.

When he finished I picked up a small hand mirror, cleared the remains of some lines from it, and gazed at his handiwork in the long mirror on the wall. It was perfect, absolutely divine. It had a touch of both of us in it and I felt it expressed an aspect of my being. I teared up a bit looking at it, and hugged him tightly, thanking him. “I really outdid myself on this one” he said softly as he hugged me back.

That hug seemed to break through some kind of barrier and we began drawing into each other. We sat closer, there was more touching. Eye contact was prolonged and at times we seemed to be having whole conversations without saying a word. I never put my shirt back on, I felt completely comfortable. For a while, we sat on the couch watching the scanners. I ended up laying my head in his lap, and he even stroked my hair for just a moment.

At some point he decided to take a shower and he expected me to follow him in the bathroom so we could keep talking as he did it. He had an amazing body and I didn’t hide that I was looking. Still though, we didn’t cross the line into anything of real physicality. I just laid out on a towel in the floor, and we talked about girls. At some point I asked his type and he responded simply “You” but we just laughed it off.

It was all so relaxed and natural, and I felt like we were moving toward something but that there was simply no need to rush it, because we would have all the time in the world together. The slow simmering build up made me excited in a way I couldn’t remember being before. I mused to myself about the concept of a new type of adventure.

He would never know the name I cast aside, but on that night came a transcendental moment wherein I learned his old name, and learned of some holes in the walls of his mental fortress.

I told him I’d like a bath, and we returned to the bathroom together. I took my time getting undressed, returning the favor of the good look he’d given me at himself earlier that day. He didn’t hide that he was looking, and even said “My god, your ass.” when I turned around. I just laughed and stepped into the tub, which I had filled with the hottest water I could bear. I gently lowered myself into the water and dunked my head, letting the water push my hair back as I reemerged.

I wiped the water from my eyes and dried my hands, as he passed me the burner. I produced a few clouds and then relaxed, as we chatted generic for a bit. He sat on the sink and began working on a tattoo he had in progress on his left arm. It said something about god being his bitch, in a block font he was filling the outline of. The pace of conversation was slow and casual, as we simply enjoyed each other’s presence and chilled out. We were getting toward the tail end of the fun part of staying up this long, but the vibe was still great.

Eventually we got back on the topic of our families. We talked through how and why we had come to the conclusion they were shit. Exactly when they got cut off. He let it slip as he described some fucked up interaction with his mother. I should have known better, but as I said we’d been up too long at this point. I latched onto it, goading him sarcastically. I said “Awe, that’s cute. Lil Xxxxxx boy fighting with his mommy.” and before I knew it he was on top of me in the water. He put his hands around my throat and shoved me down, strangling and drowning me in the same gesture.

I struggled, punched him repeatedly in some unknown parts of his body as I impotently fought back from my utterly disadvantaged position beneath the steaming water. After a long moment; just before I was totally convinced I’d die, he let me back out. Still holding my throat in his sinewed hands, he seethed at me “Don’t you ever fucking say that name little bitch. I swear to all the gods I’ll make sure you never say another word.” He had a look in his eyes I hadn’t seen on a person before, and I quickly made note of it and the meaning it held. I’ll admit I was a bit surprised, I was angry with him for treating me that way. But I understood.

I understood completely. I experienced the sin of shame for the first time.

I gave him the most sincere pouting face I could muster while being mildly strangled, and managed to squeeze the words “Sorry daddy” from my restricted voice. He let go of my neck, and looked at me deeply in my eyes. “I fucking mean it. That shit puts me back in that place and I’m never going there again.” he said, sounding more vulnerable than dangerous now.

“I understand.” I croaked, rubbing my throat, and said “I don’t know what I was thinking, honestly. I’m sorry. I’d kill you if you ever said my deadname too.” He gave me a look of understanding, and I sat up to meet his face with mine. We hovered like that for a long moment, stared into each other’s eyes. I felt his hot breath on my face. I felt his soul connect with my own in a new way.

I kissed him, finally breaking through the last physical boundary. He grabbed my hair, pulled my head back and bit my neck. He drew blood and sucked, and I moaned softly into his damp hair draped over my face. When he released me once more I peeled him from his wet clothes and used my fingertips to explore the scars that marked his body. We kissed more and more deeply, losing ourselves completely to the moment. We swapped our little stack, with him unpinning me from the bathtub and I wrapping my legs around his waist. He stood up, carrying me from the bath and tossing me soaking wet onto his bed.

We descended into a kind of sex normally reserved for siblings. Deep, passionate, unrestrained like animals feasting after being starved ravenous. All of the unspoken tensions from the previous days were laid out on the wet sheets and fucked apart alongside my body. He did things to me I’d never experienced before and took me by surprise with his lack of inhibition, playing with all my softest parts as he used my body to get himself off. He made me get on my knees for him and I pleasured him with my mouth in passionate servitude. It was everything I had been aching for since I first laid eyes on him.

He was a well-crafted instrument. Size: just shy of a design flaw. Curve: a perfect arc. Each thrust was a calculated variable in an equation of escalating pleasure. I let him take me over the edge multiple times, observing the effects on my nubile vessel; cataloging the sensations. His stamina was a remarkable asset, and his dedication to my pleasure I saw as a sign of true potential. It was an astonishingly efficient performance, and for a few hours, I was content to be his sole, appreciative audience.

I was completely dick drunk by the time he finally finished, and he put his hands on my throat once again as he did. He stared into my eyes as he pumped every last drop of divine passion inside of me. I stared back, pulling his soul into my own. He collapsed beside me and we both laughed deliriously for several minutes. When we’d regained a grip on reality I snuggled up to him, we shared a cigarette and washed down some nervie tablets with beach flavored liquor.

Later on just before dawn, after I’d cleaned up the mess he’d made of me while he’d changed the wet sheets, I let him fall asleep. I sat up smoking cigarettes and contemplating my position. It was an interesting situation.

On one hand, I’d clearly gotten off on the way he had dominated me. I also understood completely where he was coming from with how he’d responded to what I said. I would absolutely have done a similar thing if he’d done that to me.

On the other hand, I simply could not allow myself to enter any further into this situation with him. Such a perceived disadvantage in power. Unacceptable. I needed to be sure that he saw I was not like the other girls he’d been with, I wasn’t some toy. I was just as capable of destroying him as he was me, though I might use different means to do so.

I sorted through my options on how to demonstrate this to him. Many of them were too elaborate: I needed something simple; something immediate. This had to happen now, before things went any further. I settled on a direct display of my commitment to myself. Something visceral that he would understand at an instinctual level.

I would make him understand me completely, too. I would make him feel the same shame as I had felt.

When I heard his breathing finally shift into deep sleep I slipped out of the bed, and quietly sorted through the pile of my things I’d been living out of for the week. I retrieved my compact nine millimeter ambitech model three from my bag, then crept back over to the bed. I sprung on top of him, pinning his arms with my knees and pressing the cold steel barrel to his temple. He struggled for a moment. He easily could have tossed me once he was fully awake; but as he soon realized his disadvantage, he settled for glaring daggers at me.

I smiled at him and our eyes locked together, many words were exchanged before either of us ever verbalized a thing. “Listen baby,” I whispered “We’ve got a good thing going here. I like it. But if you ever try some shit like that again you better make damn sure you fucking kill me. I’ll never be the type of bitch to just lie down and take it.” We stared at each other for some time.

His face slowly melted into a sorrowful expression and he opened his mouth to speak, but I used my free hand to press a finger over his lips, shushing him gently. He closed his mouth again and I walked myself slowly down his body with the gun still pressed to his head. I kissed his chest and laid my head on him. He groaned at me and I kept the gun firmly against his temple as he began grinding against me once more.

We fucked like it was incest once again, but this time I was on top and in control. I ground him into the bed for ages. At some point, I let the gun rest on the nightstand, but I wasn’t done demonstrating my equal power over him. I choked him and stared at his face as I did so, just like he had done to me. I made him get on his knees like I had done for him. He had no idea what he was doing, but he did his best.

Eventually, I relented and let him flip me to my back. He folded my legs up and looked me in the eyes, holding my head as he took me gently. He kissed my breasts and murmured to me endlessly about all the ways he thought what we had was special. Called me gorgeous and told me I was a goddess. I finally knew he saw me as I saw myself and I climaxed hard, making a mess. My quivering and the heat of the connection took him over the edge and he made his own contribution to the mess. We collapsed again, into a spooning position, and at last both fell into a deep sleep.

We slept for a hundred years, and when we woke up we continued right where we left off. We made love for days, pausing only to hydrate and dose up to maintain our stamina.

At great length, when our consecration was complete, we spent the following days recovering from our binge and our bruises. Most of our time was spent spooning on the couch. Sleeping and watching cartoons. Playing games on the scanner and popping nervies to fight the withdrawal. Living off junk food from the cupboards and the occasional tentative venture out for some degenerate crawlthrough food.

Business was still completely off the table, we had no interest in the outside world and we knew it would wait for us. We still talked for hours whenever we were lucid, continuing our endlessly stimulating discussions from before. We told each other more of our life stories and discussed what we liked most about the events we’d just come through together. It was a time of great introspection and review, and our respective mental states meshed even deeper into each other. I wondered if this was what true love felt like, but I didn’t much care, summarizing to myself and to him that it was special either way.

True love is a label desired by those who do not know truth.

He told me I was the first person with my particular set of parts that he’d ever been interested in, despite the fact he’d been called gay slurs many times on account of how he dressed, his long hair, how he carried himself. He said he surprised himself when we’d fucked, playing with me the way he did, and certainly with going down on me. He’d surprised me too, in the best way. He said it didn’t “feel gay,” that my body was completely feminine; but that it had made him think about life in a new way nonetheless.

We talked about that at some length. I wondered if he would find that he had a desire to branch out based on this experience with me. I could tell that he was still exploring the boundaries of himself. I hoped I might be of assistance to that end, thought I might set him up with some cute boys I knew. Hoped I’d get to watch him dominate them. I told him this and he seemed open to it, particularly based on the notion that it would get me off. We had the perfect dynamic, something I’d always imagined could be possible with a man, but deeply doubted until I found him.

As we recovered and the games started to call to us both once again, our conversations shifted from the intimate to the professional. He let me in on his schemes. I was surprised he was doing so well, impressed and enamored with his proficiency. He walked me through his overhead, his plans for his come up. He talked for hours about how he’d worked his way up the ladder, and I loved taking in the lore of the streets through him. He was a veteran, and I respected his experience.

I told him at some length about my experiences moving drugs for others that I had known. Told him about handling problems that came up. About the relationships I had cultivated that way. I told him about my disinterest in big profits or clout, how I just did it for fun. That I lived day to day and enjoyed it deeply. He saw my passion for the life and that it was the mirror image to his own.

He really took a liking to the way I described my approach to all of it. I felt the same way about him; we were a match on so many levels. Soon he said he had some work for me if I was interested.

I was very interested. I would take full advantage of the opportunity.

• Part the Third •

Wherein you will see how our relationship matured.

Understand how we worked together.

I did good work for him over the next few months, as spring kicked into gear and the animals we catered to got restless. We did runs together and before long that was old hat for us. He let me do runs on my own, and let me run the house when he was out. More time passed and we ended up quite adjusted to our positions, nearly like partners in the trade.

We taught each other the few things we were lacking within ourselves. Him sharing his martial skills, and I teaching him the ways of mental warfare. My body grew to be as adept as my mind. I weaved hardened steel beneath my soft exterior, nearly challenging his physical prowess over me. He took to deceit quite naturally. His words bloomed into a black bouquet, crafted from saccharin lies almost as good as my own. We viewed each other almost as equals, but he maintained a certain levity, always seeing himself as a protector.

On the fifteenth day of the fourth cycle of our first year together, at the very crest of spring; there was a final formative encounter that once and for all placed us on truly equal footing. It was late evening and one of his junkie casualties showed up looking to score a fix. Grey was out getting cigarettes, and I did my usual thing. Answered the door, talked through what the freak wanted. From the word go I had a bad feeling about this kid. I told him to sit down on the steps, to wait for me to get his dope together, and to have the money ready for me when I came out.

He grumbled some type of nonsense at me but seemed to comply, so I went and weighed out the solution to his problem. Shorted him as one does to all such marks. Bagged it up. When I returned to the door I checked through the window and the little shit was nowhere to be seen. I knew for a fact something was afoot at that point. I reached into my waistband and flicked the safety off on my nine. Opened the door. “Where you at dude? I got your stuff right here…” I teased. Suddenly he lunged out around the door frame holding a large skinning knife, and hammerfisted it toward my face.

I ducked, the knife hit the door instead and shattered the glass, causing him to cut his wrist. He backed up and looked at his wound. I used the opportunity to deliver a low kick to his knee, then quickly took several steps backwards into the house. I started to reach for my nine, but he rushed me. He again lunged with the knife, and I took a quick step right, punching him in the ear as he stabbed the air I had just occupied. He stumbled, recovered himself and came at me again.

This time, I grabbed his arm, wrenching it around in an attempt to get him to drop the knife. My grip slipped on his blood and I fell into him, against the wall. He used his free arm to grab me into a headlock and I squirmed, turning around just in time to catch his hand again as he stabbed toward me. I redirected the jab and it grazed my shoulder, leaving a gash. He nearly hit himself instead.

He was absolutely animalistic, not even concerned with his own wellbeing. The blood was getting everywhere at this point, and it assisted me in slipping free of his headlock. I hit him with a knee to the groin as I pulled free of his grip. I stepped back and wiped his blood away from my eyes and mouth, and smiled at him with the light of an internally blazing fire in my eyes. I was having fun now, and simply waited for his next move.

He came at me once more, low this time. I stepped sideways again, but this time he grabbed at my waist. Both of us slammed into the end table, and my gun fell out of my pants, bounced off the chair next to us and skidded into the kitchen. The end table folded, the lamp shattered, and we landed in a pile with the mess of it all. He had his arm around my waist still, and flailed wildly at me with the knife.

He stabbed the chair instead, tried to wrench it free but couldn’t from the low angle he had pinning me down. He was getting frustrated and yelled some frothing words as he struggled. He gave up on freeing the blade and instead used it as leverage to pull himself up. This gave me room to breathe and as he got to his knees, I punched him in the nose with a hard right hook from below. That finally got him to release his grip on the blade, and he fell back into a seated position. He touched his face and glared at me as a new source of blood began free flowing out of him.

I followed up quickly with a flat kick to his face. It wasn’t very powerful from my position on the floor, but I figured that it would be enough to keep him off me for another few moments. I quickly turned around and grabbed the knife myself. I had better leverage and quickly worked it free, but by the time I was done he had grabbed me by the hair. He slammed my face into the armrest but it was weak, I felt nothing. I could tell the animal was draining out of this kid. He was getting tired and things were only going to go more and more in my favor.

I hit him with an elbow to the gut and he lost his grip on my head. I was thankful for Grey’s training. I was just getting started, and my dexterity was surprising me almost as much as my assailant. I rolled free and into a kneel, then thrust myself forward at him. I tackled him back into the wreckage of the table and we wrestled for a bit. The broken glass cut us both but I kept pressing my advantage harder. I was laughing now, knowing he was in trouble. He had a grip at the wrist on my knife hand, but I had side control and pummeled him with hard knee shots until he couldn’t hold it anymore.

Suddenly the knife was plunging in between his ribs. At first I didn’t even realize what I was doing, it was just survival. As the reality of the situation unfolded in my mind, I was overwhelmed with both horror and joy. The sound of the blade piercing his flesh was somewhat sickening, but completely intoxicating. I realized I had begun stabbing him over and over, losing track of the number of times. Eventually he stopped fighting back and I collapsed backwards off of him, leaving the knife buried in his chest.

He gurgled “Oh shit I-I-…I’m fuckin’ dead oh fuck-” and rolled to his side. I sat back watching him carefully, enraptured as the last bit of life left his body.

He tried to crawl toward the door, but started coughing out blood and just curled into a ball. He groaned, pawing at his wounds. He pulled the knife out, dropping it beside him, and whimpered out a soft cry before coughing up more blood. He made a final, terrible sound, and for a moment, the sight of him was… pathetic. A broken toy. Pitiful? No, a foolish thought; pushed it aside.

He slowly stopped moving altogether, leaving only his muscles involuntarily twitching as he grew stiff. Gross.

I continued staring at him, my breathing the only sound in the dead space between us. My mind was a sudden, strange blank. A mirror reflecting nothing. What was I supposed to be feeling? Then it came to me, a thought as clear and sharp as shattered glass. It wasn’t confusion I felt. No. It was power. Power, coursing through my veins.

Yes. That was it.

There was no doubt in my mind that I was a goddess.

A scream tore from my body. Not of fear, or shock; the inefficient fuels of the mortal plane. It was a scream of pure, undiluted creation. The sound of a fucking god finally clearing the smog of this backwater world from her throat.

Quite some time passed before I finally stood up. I knew I needed to collect myself. I stepped outside onto the porch, vaguely aware that I was quite a sight, but not wanting to share a space with that corpse anymore. I sat on the steps and lit a cigarette. I knew Grey would be back soon and he’d help me, but I needed to get my mind under control before that happened. One of the neighbors slow-rolled by and I realized I was still holding the knife. I put it behind my back, waving at them with my other hand. Smile and wave and everyone thinks shit is fine. Morons. Yeah, I’m just chilling. Oh this? Just that time of the month. Etcetera. Fucking idiots waved back.

Once they had passed I tossed the knife into the house and dragged on my cigarette again. I leaned against a column of the porch, kicking my feet out. I couldn’t help but laugh, I was completely high on a feeling of supreme power. I figured it wouldn’t be the last time I felt this way. I liked it too much. I felt that I had to quell this feeling before Grey got home, that I couldn’t let him see the sadistic euphoria and that I was absolutely overcome by it.

I closed my eyes and took some deep breaths, centering my consciousness on the hours to come. We would have to dispose of it. We would have to clean like I’d never cleaned before. These thoughts eventually helped me to find a calm.

At long last, I heard another vehicle clattering down the broken street. I opened my eyes, and was relieved to see it was Grey. He could tell something was up from about a block down, and gunned the engine; the massive rig squealing as he slid into the driveway. He hopped out of the vehicle and he could see the blood now. “What the fucks goin’ on, Nyxie? Are you okay? Is that your blood?” He shouted, distraught.

“He tried to slice up my beautiful face, honey.” I whimpered. He started to notice the scene, starting with the broken glass of the door. He breezed past me, stepping into the doorway. “Oh my fucking god, Nyxie.” he mumbled as he stared at the beautiful disaster I had crafted in the living room. Catching his breath, he said “Are you okay?” He was still taking it all in. I sighed, breathing the words “I think so. Mostly.”

He finally turned, looking back at me. “Fuck, your shoulder.” he said, sitting next to me. I looked at it, only just now realizing the severity of the wound. I mumbled to myself “Well shit. I guess I would’ve gotten cut, too.” He sat down next to me and eyed my face, realizing that I was making a callback to his own story. “Psycho bitch” he half-chuckled under his breath. I gave him a cigarette and we sat quietly for a few minutes.

I could see the pride he took in me all over his face.

“You sure he’s dead?” Grey broke the silence. I nodded, simply stating “Very.” I flicked the remains of my cigarette over the fence and looked at him. “What do I do now?” I inquired. I was feeling somewhat lost, but he answered in an assured tone “We wait for it to get dark, won’t be long now. I’ll get rid of him. You clean.” I nodded again and he calmly finished summarizing the full plan “We’ll rip the carpet up now, and use it to roll him up. You help me carry him out, then I’ll drive out to the ravines.” He stood up, then offered me a hand.

“Actually, fuck. First we need to close that up.” he said, pointing to my shoulder. I agreed quietly “Yeah I don’t think it’ll stop oozing on its own, I’ll just be making more of a mess.” We headed inside, Grey closed the door behind us and we both stood staring at the cadaver for a while.

“Do you know who that is?” I asked. Grey nodded and replied “His name is– was, Adelaide. People called him Addy. Guy was a fuckin’ basket case, always had a bad feeling about him. I should have cut him off, shit; ugh. This is partly my fault. I’m really s-” I shook my head and cut him off “Shut the fuck up. Always risks being in this business, I knew that coming in. It doesn’t matter anyway, I handled it.” He gave me a solemn look and said quietly “Good job, cupcake.”

I went to the kitchen, retrieved my gun and put it back in my waistband. Meanwhile he was in the bathroom, getting some kit.

I sat at the kitchen table, and he soon joined me. As he cut up a fat line of glass for me, I tentatively asked him “Do you think anyone will miss him?” He shook his head, reassuring me “Not one soul. A lot of people will be glad he’s gone.” I snorted the line and he took a bit himself, as I chased down the ice with an extensive chug at some whiskey. After giving me a few moments to prepare myself, he splashed the spirits on the wound and went to work stitching it up.

The drugs helped, but it still hurt spectacularly. I tried not to laugh, but it slipped out anyway.

He paused and stared at my face a moment, then shook his head. “I love you, crazy girl.” he said, for the first time. I suddenly thought maybe I didn’t have to hide any of it. “I love you too.” I whispered, still gritting my teeth. He lifted his chin at me, smiled toothy through his signature hood-eyed stare, and then resumed his task.

When he finally finished, I inspected his work. It wasn’t bad. “You done that before?” I asked. He nodded and stated confidently “Many times. Getting the hang of it I think.” We smoked another cigarette, and pulled off the whiskey some more. Finally, it was time to get to the real dirty work. He went to the vault and grabbed the tools we’d need, as I started dragging furniture out of the living room.

When he returned he helped me with the couch and the scanners, then we went to work ripping up the ruinous carpet. To our surprise, the hardwood revealed underneath was beautiful. It was in great shape, aside from a small amount of blood that had just now soaked through near the door. Ironically the place would be getting an upgrade from this. After commenting on this, Grey decided he would get a new console to replace the old scanner on his way back from dumping the refuse. He said he’d get a big one, and if there was any blood stain that wouldn’t come up we’d arrange the furniture so it covered it. We laughed about things coming out better than ever as we finished up.

I helped him move the body into a suitable position, fighting the early stages of rigor mortis. Grey retrieved the deceased’s wallet, and handed me his ID card. “You should keep this. It’ll help with…the feelings that come next.” He said knowingly. I wasn’t sure what he meant yet, but I did as he said. We rolled the trash up in the carpet, and carried the bundle out to Grey’s rig. We followed up with the other pieces of carpet and the old cathode scanner as well, stacking them on top, and then it was time for Grey to head out of town. I gave him a kiss, and we embraced for a few long moments. He hopped in the crawler, handed me an extra pack of cigarettes from the carton he’d bought, and then he was off.

I returned to the house, and spent a few minutes sweeping up the remains of the end table and the lamp, then cleaned the glass left from the door. The blood we’d smeared on the walls during the struggle came off fairly easily, as the paneling was sealed in some kind of heavy lacquer, but it took an hour of scrubbing to get the blood out of the hardwood. I was able to get the majority of it with soap and water, but there was still a dark spot. I used a dilute household cleaning acid, and that finally took care of it.

I was quite satisfied. I spent some additional time removing the tack boards that had held the carpet in place, and finally drug the furniture back into the room. All that was left was the plasma, still missing a place to go. Overall, the place looked way better than it had that morning, and I smiled at a job well done. By the time I was finished, it was well into the night and a small part of me started to worry about Grey. I assured myself he knew what he was doing, and it would be fine. Reminded myself he had two jobs to do, and that one of them would take quite some time. I went back to the porch to smoke a cigarette.

A short time later, my belief in him was validated as he pulled back into the driveway. As he stepped out of the rig, we both exchanged tired looks of triumph. I thought he perhaps had a residue of smoke on his face and his hands were black. He grabbed a gas can out of the back of the vehicle and returned it to its place nestled discreetly between the racing rig and the house. He grabbed a bloody pair of pliers that had been left in the bed of the rig, put it in his pocket, and then we carried the new console inside. We left it disassembled in the box for the night, deciding instead to take an extensive shower. We helped each other get clean and he took his time, being extra gentle with my wounds.

After our bath we toweled each other off, and then made love in a way that briefly almost surpassed the previous consecration of our union. He finally knew I could handle myself, and knew that we were equals. We were closer than ever, perhaps closer than either of us had thought possible. After it was all done, we laid in bed together. We would not sleep that night, but we relaxed and talked things over. He told me “I know just how you feel, baby girl.” I wondered if he really did. “Joyous?” I asked.

He cocked his head and smiled, dragging off the cigarette we were sharing. “I was so excited after Charmaine.” he said and petted my hair. I sat up and looked at him, asking “Do you think that’s fucked up?” He nodded enthusiastically and laughed “Well yeah, it’s super fucked. But it feels incredible to know just what you’re capable of right? You feel unstoppable.” I returned his nod and leaned my head against the headboard as he passed me the cigarette.

“I’m a fucking goddess.” I said, taking a long drag. He laid his head in my lap as he laughed again, replying “I always knew you were.”

From then on everything else was even. He even let me meet his connections, and I began operating things with him. I started working my girls out of the house, and let him in on that too. We were equal partners in everything, we shared the full responsibility and profit from all of our games. It was a very free-flowing and frictionless relationship, and we never fought about anything again. We never had issues with each other, only with outsiders.

The only awkward bit in our relationship was when we’d occasionally bring home some new lay and they’d get all triggered about our setup. Eventually I set up my own room instead of sleeping with him, just to avoid the drama. We knew what we had was solid, no matter what. We still bedded together on our crash nights after a heavy binge, on special occasions, or when we simply needed some action and didn’t feel like finding it in others. Time became irrelevant.

There were a few more nights of interest, in those binary days.

There was a night when I brought a girl home from the club with me. She was a real hardcore butch lesbian type of chick. She was hot, so I asked her if she wanted to get out of there, get high, get laid. She was so infatuated when we left the club, I thought it was going to be a great night. Things went alright, for a while. We got high, I let her hit off my stash all she wanted and we had fun. I hadn’t told her I was trans, though. When she found out, she lost her shit.

A risk I had taken knowingly, but unfortunate anyhow. Started saying all kinds of transphobic misandrist shit. I told her to leave and she tried to get rough with me. She was a tough bitch and we fought for a bit, made a lot of racket. At some point Grey figured out this wasn’t just rough sex sounds, I guess. He came into my room and dragged her out, by the hair, all the way down the stairs and threw her outside. He didn’t have to do that, I could have handled it myself, but I was grateful and I showed him in our usual way.

A couple of times, he got too drunk. He wasn’t a mean drunk or anything, just a sloppy boy. I made sure business went to plan in spite of it. One time he got a little too high on horse; passed out, when there was work to be done. I made the crew leave, took care of his deals, and I put him to bed. Made sure he was breathing right, stayed up watching over him. In a similar way, he cared for me when I got sick once. He was like a mother hen for a week, always fretting over me and making sure I was hydrated and cared for. We always took care of each other. We had each other’s backs, until the end, no matter the circumstance.

For the most part though, it was just business as usual; we settled into a comfortable routine.

We had a really good thing going and we both knew it, even if we didn’t say it to each other much. It wasn’t necessary to say, we were in perfect synchronization.

We had already begun to run the world together, but we knew there was a missing piece.

Chapter Two

Learn of the Second Cofounder, who completed our trinity.

Join my First Blade and I as we enrapture the interest of the Oracle of Static; behold my beautiful Font of Chaos.

• Part the First •

Wherein you will be introduced to our second lover.

Contrast her nature to my own, for she is my dual.

Around midway through summer came a hot night where Grey was out making moves, and I was alone in the house. That was when I met her. She and Grey had been friends for a little while, so I could safely assume she was good people, but as always I reserved final judgment as my own. He told me she’d be dropping by, picking up weight. When she finally showed up at the trap, it was something like midnight. I was smoking dope and playing some game to pass the time. Mind occupied wondering what she’d be like, the usual pre-meditations. At long last she knocked on the door, quiet as a mouse. I hopped up, killed the scanner, and opened the door.

She was intoxicatingly cute. She was a little taller than me, and a bit curvier. I guessed she was probably in her mid twenties, maybe a bit younger than Grey. Glossy dark brown hair, high-set in loose wavy pigtails, that were tied up with pastel beaded bands. Flawless freckle dusted cinnamon skin. She was wearing a cute rainbow choker, above pastel green spaghetti straps. Her top stopped just above her belly button, revealing a well toned body and a subtle piercing.

Brown camo ankle-length cargos, pink hightops. She had a couple of floral tattoos, one on her shoulder, and another on her ankle. Lots of pretty rose gold earrings, with a delicate chain between two of them. Matching jewelry on her fingers. Her makeup was on point, looking like she was made of candy.

The hot summer breeze lifted her beautiful perfume to me as I opened the door.

I was instantly enamored, even before she turned slightly from looking at the street and flashed me a beautiful smile. The sixth sense I had about people and their ways started telling me stories about her right away. She was geeked up something terrible, but despite that she had a certain air of serenity that was uncommon in my world. You wouldn’t have been able to tell she was high, if you weren’t in on the game.

She flicked the ash off her cigarette with a twitch of her long nails, looking me up and down. I said nothing, just smiled and let her get a good look. “You gotta be Nyx.” she said, tilting her head as she leisurely walked her eyes back up toward my face. “Mhm! You must be Jade!” I replied, bubbly. She nodded loosely and dragged her cigarette. I watched her perfect lips interface with the stain of her gloss on the white filter.

I shifted my stance, making room for her to pass me, saying “Well come on in, doll. You wanna blow some clouds or just get to it?” She laughed, and shook her head “Cariña, I’m way too lifted already! Let’s just do this thing.” I laughed along with her and closed the door behind us, following her into the kitchen. Watched her stride as she moved across the room.

I spent my time surrounded by the spirits of the dark, but she stood out as something different.

She was obviously hardened by the life, who wasn’t? But she wasn’t like the creatures we pushed our shit to. Seemed above it all, even while tweaked up more than she’d like. She had the sort of vibe that told me I was safer when she was around, rather than requiring the usual heightened edge I maintained.

I found her nature quite endearing. There was divinity within her as well.

“You got beer?” she asked as we arrived in the kitchen. I flipped on the light and said “Yeah, in the fridge. Help yourself, grab me one too would ya?” She made her way over to the fridge as I settled down at the head of the table with the scales and the supply. “Maybe this’ll help my fucking nerves, god damn.” she said under her breath as she pulled two bottles. She popped the caps on the counter top and joined me at the table, sitting close. I could smell her perfume again, but did my best to put thoughts of ravaging her out of my mind and focus on business.

I took my beer from her, chugged down a bit, then went to work checking weight. With clients like Jade, we didn’t short. We’d be sure to go over, in fact. It really made no difference to our bottom line, at these kinds of weights, and was an easy path to good will with them. A third of a key of dope is quite a significant transaction. I selected a larger bag from the set of empties, folded it down to get a good weight and sat it on the scale, taring it out.

“Some really sticky fuckin’ glimmer there, if you wanna try that too. Always chills me out.” I said as I focused on my task. She nodded and reached across the table, grabbing the bag, along with a grinder and a pipe. “Oh nah uhm, can you roll?” I said, gesturing to a pack of peaches and cream skins that had been sitting next to the pipe. “With these nails on…? Ah hell I’ll give it a go. Focus is god tier right now.” she said, laughing. She grabbed them and went to work grinding a few buds as I moved weight into her bag.

When I’d gotten up to a half, I invited her to take a look, saying “Sittin’ just over 34.” She glanced up at me as she was loading weed into a skin. “Oh, psh. I know y’all always do it right. Zip it up.” she said dismissively. I did as she said and then tossed the bag over to her “Grey said it’s on front right?” I asked, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah, well really I’m just kinda doing a run for him. New client for me, he set it up. But if everything works out I’ll be doin’ that like twice a month or some shit.” she replied. “Sick. Well good luck to you then, that’s good weight.” I said, smiling. She wiggled happily in appreciation as she lit the glimmerstick she’d just rolled. She got it burning good, pausing to cough cutely. Took a couple big hits, finishing up with a smoke trick, then passed it to me.

After she held her smoke a bit, she blew it out and coughed adorably again then said “Ooh fuck, that’s good shit though. Listen, do you think it’d be chill if I buzz Grey about waiting till tomorrow on this run? I’m so on edge.” I shrugged and replied, holding in a hit “I don’t know who this mark is but, people dealing with this kind of weight aren’t usually in a huge hurry.” I let my smoke go and tried not to cough, as I added “In any case, won’t hurt to ask. I’ll do it if you want.”

She smiled at me, saying “Oh my fuckin’ gods, you’re too nice. I’d really appreciate that.” I passed her the glimmer and quickly shot Grey a message. “If he said nah, I could roll with you. Might help your nerves not riding solo.” I sort of mumbled, pushing my luck. “I might take you up on that anyway, could be fun.” she replied, giggling softly.

We continued passing the glimmerstick as we waited to hear back from Grey. “Where you out of anyway?” I asked. She tilted her head back, expressing a kind of exasperation, and said in a bored tone “Little place to the east, down the corridor. S’bout an hour and a half from here. I call it Shit Rock, puto lugar vacío.” I was surprised, because that was one of my old areas. The name was something like, “lucky rock,” in a forgotten native language; we all called it Shit Rock.

“Yo what? I never saw you around there. You’re right that place is fucking empty, I’d think I’d have known you.” I prodded. She replied along the lines I had expected “Yeah I just got there a couple months ago. Came up from the Sump after–uh, well. Shit let’s just say I had to get out of there.” I smiled knowingly, stating as such “I feel that. Must be quite a switch up for you though.” She nodded with dry enthusiasm and grumbled “Girl it’s so fuckin’ boring.” I laughed at her pain, knowing it all too well myself.

“You ever met my dude Juan over there? He’d keep your ass entertained.” I asked, trying to feel out how established she was. She chuckled and rolled her eyes, saying “Oh man, Juan? Tipo loco! Love that guy. Shit, Juan’s the only reason anybody still takes the mag out that way.” We talked about a few more of the mutual crazies, sharing some laughs, before I changed the angle of my interview asking her “So how’d you meet Grey, anyhow?”

She shook her head and pulled off her beer, smiling “I was in Easy’s right, talking to my girl Gabbi while she was on shift. He rolled up in that stupid crawler, got out lookin’ how he do, pastelito, you know. I said to Gabbi, ‘Chica that’s a connect right there.’” I laughed at her calling him a cupcake. She continued “Well turns out she knows this fool, like he’s in there all the time or whatever. So she introduced me. We did business right off, been chill since then.” I laughed, somewhat relieved that she hadn’t said they’d hooked up or something.

“Yeah that sounds about right.” I said, shaking my head at my own jealousy. “I’ve actually met Gabbi. Cool chick. You known her long?” I asked. She laughed and replied “Yeah Gabbi and I are cousins, actually. Our dads always made us play together as kids, but then she moved up here. Knowing she was around was why I chose the area when I had to leave my old sector…Man, fuck-” She paused to take a sip of her beer, then finished the thought “-if we was in the seven-one-three, I could show you some real shit. That was my place. I belong to them streets I swear.” I nodded my understanding. She seemed to wrap up her thoughts on the matter, saying “Woulda moved into the city, but… Well, I knew this dude out there on the corridor. It didn’t work out but it was an easy start.”

My comm tablet buzzed. I mentally crossed my fingers, hoping Grey would say no rush and I’d move to phase two of my plan. I picked it up and flipped it open, revealing the message.

Smiling, I passed the good news on to her “He says, long as it’s there by end of week; it’s no issue.” She breathed a sigh of relief and leaned her head back on the chair. I continued, moving right along “You know, if you want to crash here for the night I got you. Long trek back home on that boring ass corridor; I’d hate if something happened to you.” Her head popped back up and she briefly gave me eyes like I was asking to hold her wallet and salivating. I realized maybe I was showing my cards, playing it so direct. I hesitated a bit, probably visibly.

After a moment she seemed to relax a bit, and said “Yeah um, I don’t know why but you seem…alright. I know Grey likes you. Like a lot, cabrón won’t shut up about you actually. Thanks, I guess.” She seemed to relax further, but I could tell she was processing my motives. Talking about people’s business outside the house wasn’t usually too chill, but we were getting along well, and I wanted to get her mind off what my plans might be. So I pressed a bit, asking “So how’s the life treating you? You makin’ bank?” She seemed comfortable discussing it, but disinterested. She shrugged and said “Ah you know, I do alright. I’m just tryna have a good time though.” I thought it was a rather appealing response, and wondered what other motivations we shared.

We shared a few more drinks, a few stories recounting various kinds of conquests, and a lot more glimmer. To my delight she talked about an ex-girlfriend she’d had. She was a blatant bisexual. I knew then as long as I continued playing my cards right, I was going to turn her out. As the night progressed I felt her paranoia easing, and I figured I could press in more. “You wanna go upstairs?” I asked, pausing before I added “You could lie down on my bed for a while, try and rest a bit.”

It was a bit brazen to say all that, but I wanted to put it in the air that I had my own room there. Knowing I wasn’t Grey’s property was an important piece of the puzzle. She eyed me again, differently this time. I wondered what she was sizing up this time, and my suspicions were confirmed when I noticed her subtly biting her lip before she spoke. “I’ll have to hurt you if you try anything, y’know?” she mumbled, smiling at me to ensure the threat landed soft. I smiled back, stared at her but didn’t say anything.

I grabbed my beer and stood up, started walking toward the stairs. As I proceeded across the room I planted my feet carefully along a line, subtly swaying my hips at her. I could feel her staring as she remained sitting in the kitchen. There was a sense of intense contemplation in the air. She tapped her lighter on the table in time with my booted footsteps on the grimy linoleum.

I paused at the foot of the stairs and leaned against the wall, eyeballing her again as I waited for her to get up. She sighed, leaned back in her chair, rolled her shoulders and tilted her neck back and forth. She almost looked like she was getting ready for a fight; I supposed she was. She grabbed the glimmerweed from the table along with the pipe we’d been sharing the past few hours. After standing up, she looked back to me and smirked, finally grabbing her beer as well.

She made her way slowly across the room to me and I drank in the swagger of her walk. She truly had an undead air about her now that she’d chilled out and I was loving it. As she neared the stairs, her posture changed and the look in her eyes said she had the intent to take hold of me. I simply turned and started up the stairs, letting her enjoy the view as I bounced up each step. I heard her chuckle to herself as she made her way up behind me. I knew it was happening at this point. She might not have been with someone like me before, but she’d quickly learn to like it.

The room I’d laid claim to about a month or so prior was one of the few with an actual mattress, though it featured little more. In fact, compared to Grey’s it was quite barren; I loved it. I thought of it as a kind of minimalism, and in any case it would serve well for our plans that night. Nothing in the way of furniture, really. There was a lamp I’d found in a dumpster, which sat on the floor, and cobwebs in all the corners. The blinds over the windows were broken and bent but sufficed to block the lights off the roadway from shining on my pillow too much. I had a couple of posters up on the walls, some tweaker art I’d made tacked up in places as well.

The rest of the decor consisted of piles of my clothing, a mirror in the corner with my makeup. Beside the lamp each night would rest my nine and some cigarettes, and there were always some variety of pills that’d help me sleep when I was too wired.

The floorboards all creaked as we made our way to my sanctum.

I thought it was just about nearing perfection. Coming together nicely, my little den.

It was dark in the hall and I heard her bump her shoulder at the head of the stairs, so I paused and took her hand before I resumed leading the way to my lair. I let go of her hand as we reached the door, and continued inside the room as she paused to observe. I kicked my loose-laced heavy boots into the corner and flopped down onto the mattress, smoothing the sheet and folding my legs up toward me as I looked up at her. She gave a wry smile and chuckled out “Wow this is fuckin’ plush!” the words dripping in sarcasm.

I leaned back as I giggled softly, propping myself up with my hands. I said “Yeah you wouldn’t believe the rent…” and stared at her for a moment, smiling. I leaned over, pulling my nine from the back of my pants, tossing it on the floor and grabbing a pack of cigarettes I’d left there. Placing one in my mouth I leaned back and unbuttoned my cargos, sliding them off, kicking them onto the floor. “Got the light?” I said with the tone of my voice carrying a subtext of further requests. Giving her no time to answer I added “Close the fucking door already.”

She laughed again and stepped into the room. She closed the door behind her and it swung back open again, giving her pause. I let her know “Ah fuck, yeah the latch is busted from when Jackie and that dom bitch holed up in here, couple months back. Grey found out they were cutting each other again and…anyhow just use your shoe or something.” She put her back against it and pulled off her kicks; wedged the toe of one underneath, and finally made her way to me. She sat on the edge of the mattress, maintaining the illusion she was standoffish about this interaction.

She threw her backpack on the floor and handed me the lighter, dropped the weed beside my cigarettes. Asked if she could have one. I dryly said “Hell nah.” and winked at her. She grabbed one and I passed the lighter back. I studied the subtle tan lines criss-crossing her back beneath the straps of her top. Looked for constellations in her freckles. It was quiet and still for a good while, before she decided to pop off her pants and settle back as well. We both leaned against the wall and dragged our cigarettes, she looked me over in what felt to be a similar way. The silence drew out for minutes.

She finally broke the hush with a brash question, “You a lil tranny ain’t you?” Given the circumstances, I couldn’t fault her for that. Besides, with my pants off there was an obvious bulge. I answered her with confidence, “Yeah honey I got all the best parts.” and followed with a question of my own “You cool with that?” At first she just smiled. After a moment she said “To be real I’m not sure, never tried.”

Good enough for me. I said “You’ll like it, queer.”

She seemed to get a bit flustered by my loss of coyness, but tried not to let me know. A few moments more passed before she posed another query, “How old are you anyway?” I laughed knowing what was coming next, and let her know. She feigned surprise, “God damn lil niña, the fuck you doing out here?” I just laughed more, said “I been out here.” and we left it at that. I didn’t care how old she was, she was hot as a glass dick on binge to me. At this point she was in too deep to give a damn either.

The primary cooler barely worked, so it was a bit warm upstairs. I mentioned this to her with obvious connotations. She rolled her eyes and we both lost our shirts. We laughed together at the fact we were both wearing Omni-secret, practically the same bra aside from hers being twice the cup size. We laid down on our sides, facing each other. Stared for a while. I reached out and touched her arm, smiling. She didn’t recoil at my touch but shortly after she turned, loaded the pipe and we smoked another bowl together.

By the time we finished it her breasts were my pillows. It was quiet again. She started chuckling to herself and I asked what was so funny. “You’re so damn tiny and cute how the fuck you gonna have a carajo?” she said as she poked the ribs visible below my bra. I giggled and ground it into her thigh as I said “I made myself into a lil snack for bisexual faggots like you.” She growled at me and squeezed my ass.

What came next was a sacred feminine ritual; beautiful. Wholly unlike the violent forging with Grey. This was not a negotiation. It was a slow, sweet drowning in perfume and the taste of candied gloss on her lips. There was no struggle for dominance, no testing of wills. She worshipped at my altar, and I was content to be her god. The hours melted into a single, warm, continuous offering.

I basked in her sacrosanctity.

Both of us climaxed an uncounted number of times. She said some shit about never going back to men and I laughed at her while a part of me maybe hoped that was true. Some time around noon we finally passed out, sweaty; me wrapped around her again. We slept off and on. Woke up around dark that night and shared another bowl, soothed our parched throats with stale beer, then descended back into our carnal ritual.

When it was finally complete, we faded back to sleep until almost noon the next day. We might’ve slept longer but Grey came home. We heard the door slam and knew it was his broody ass immediately. She said “Fuck,” under her breath, then mumbled aggressively to me “You’re not his bitch are you?” I felt her tense up as she said it. Wondered if she’d fight him for me. I laughed, ostensibly dismissively, but with as much neuroticism as I could muster. Heheh. She sighed and closed her eyes, squeezing my breast as though it was a little stress ball.

Grey was bounding up the stairs. He started yelling before he got to the door, “Jade I swear to god if you’re fucking my bitch-” Her eyes popped open again and she gave me a look that indisputably said “what the fuck?” I just grinned dumbly while gritting my teeth, as though to say “Oopsie!” Her countenance shifted toward the utterly perplexed. He bashed the door open and shouted some kind of obscenity at her as she sat up, rolling me off her.

All she got out was a very flustered “Uuuhh!” before he and I both started laughing at her. She gathered the blankets up over her naked body, stabbing us both with her eyes and made a pouting face. Grey plopped down onto the end of the mattress and pinched her exposed toes. “I’m just fucking with you, silly bitch!” he laughed, then added “You do the drop or you just been getting railed this whole time hoe?” She rolled her eyes, groaned “The latter…” and joined us in laughing.

I scooted myself up and rested against the wall. Grey took the opportunity to inspect my divine form as I said “You shoulda seen homegirl last night bro, she was fuckin’ geeking like you wouldn’t believe. Took me hours to get her pants off.” He laughed and she pouted again. He crawled across her, inadvertently pulling the blankets down and carelessly exposing her again. He grabbed my cigarette box off the floor, then settled back in the middle of us. He reeked of nightclubs and as I reflected to myself on this I realized additional layers, the first unsurprising: sex. Yes, a familiar scent… but it was something more this time. Something taboo.

Jade was too irked by everything else to care about her tits being out at that point, I guessed. The three of us just sat together in that messy state.

Grey put his arms around us, and the three of us shared my last cigarette, with him pulling my head into his armpit every time he took a drag until I had enough and held it for him.

We talked more shit, joking around for a good while.

Our dynamic immediately, smoothly transitioned into a divine trinary architecture.

Grey told us how his run went. Explained that the buyer didn’t show up and left him holding an eightball. He was pissed but theorized that the dude got scooped up. Said he just hit the club and sold it off as dimes, made a better profit in the end. Went home with some club slut after and stayed at his place the following day. Jade and I both immediately leaped on the “his” in that description of Grey’s whereabouts. He just said “Feminine boys don’t count.” We laughed at him. “You keep your socks on?” I piled on, prodding his side as I said it.

He curled his arms around us into headlocks and banged our heads together. “You really think I’m a faggot I’ll make y’all both suck me off right now.” he threatened playfully, shoving our heads down to his crotch. In defense I started tickling him and Jade quickly joined me. He soon let us go and we sprung up. Pausing briefly, Jade and I exchanged a knowing glance. He caught it and started back peddling “Yo wait, nah! Y’all still feeling fuckin’ nasty for real? I ain’t about it right now we got shit to do.”

Jade and I both laughed at him again and he took his turn at the pouting game, adding “For real though we gotta go do Jade’s drop. I told Rusty you’d be over there yesterday, he’s gonna be pissed…” I rolled my eyes at the threat of Rusty’s anger, knowing the man was actually a big ginger plushie bear. After a pause he finished off his thoughts on the matter, “And fuck me we gotta get somethin’ to eat! I haven’t eaten for like 2 days and I’ve been busy stretching out tight lil boy-pussy the whole time. I’m fucking starving! You thirsty-ass bitches can wait.”

After more laughing I said “Yeah nuh uh, we’re thirsty for real actually. Holy fuck. Let’s hit up Easy’s and get slushies! I need more smokes anyway. We can do business and then come back and…” I finished the last phrase with a grab at his belt, tugging. He shoved my hands away “Alright, alright fuck! You get some god damn clothes on; I’ma wash the skank off me, and we go.”

I flopped back onto the mattress and said “Alright” with an obvious undertone that I wasn’t actually going to do a damn thing with any amount of urgency. Jade rolled over Grey and onto my arm, snuggling her head into my shoulder. She moaned the words “Uh huh we’ll get right on that…” and we both laughed as he rolled his eyes and left the room. After we’d gotten a bit more cuddling in, I said “You thinking what I’m thinking?” She crawled to the edge of the mattress, stuck her ass out as she dug through her backpack. I gave her a slap and she squeaked, flopping back holding a burner and a dime bag of ice.

She dropped the single crystal from the bag into the burner and melted it down, then took a massive drag off it. She shotgunned it to me and we kissed deeply for a few minutes, before finishing the bowl together.

We took our time getting ready, pausing here and there to toy with each other. She wore one of my skirts, and very nearly looked as good as I did in it. Finally dressed, we did our makeup together and shared a cute pecking kiss after we’d glossed our lips. Grey was still in the shower, so we crossed the hall and let ourselves into the bathroom. He leaned out and took a hit off the bowl of dope. We chatted generic as he finished up the wash, then Jade and I helped him pick an outfit and we were off. We hopped into Grey’s rig to head uptown, and I felt right at home sitting between the two of them.

Jade had that third of a key of ice in her bag ready for drop, and so we treaded softly; but we did stop off at Easy’s Pop Shop per my request. Got some liquor-slush mixers in the crawlthrough. We hit up some fast-food grease joint, forced down some food with zero enthusiasm. No appetite, just knew we needed it.

We were already in tune with each other. We operated with perfect synchronicity.

• Part the Second •

Wherein you come to understand the triarchy of our divinity.

Observe the final assembly of the divine apparatus.

Finally we were out on the corridor; no limit to our speed but the capabilities of Grey’s overpowered rig. It would still be a long trip, headed to the little middle of nowhere Jade was selling in. Early on, she was in a scheming mood. Said something like “You know, we could just blow this whole bag and…” Grey didn’t like that kind of shit, and I smirked knowing what was coming. He glared at her and his knuckles tightened on the steering wheel. He growled “Don’t fuck up my spot, bitch; be real. We both owe big bucks on that still.” Her and I just laughed, knowing it wasn’t true; but that business was still going to be transacted, regardless. Liquor doesn’t do much when you’re burning ice, but we did all feel a bit more loose than we otherwise would have. More importantly, the slushes were delicious and kept us cool. It was hotter than hell itself outside.

By the time we got off the corridor, we’d nearly reached the little lakeside village where Rusty lived. We had finished our drinks and had the best approximation of a heavy buzz we could perceive under the circumstances.

Rusty lived in a little crawler-drawn camping home, that was butted up to the lake. I appreciated his minimalism; I complimented him on his ingenuity, in the way it gave him access to a truly lovely spot, despite a meager overhead. After we did the exchange, it was getting later in the evening and had cooled off a bit, so we all sat by the water and blew more clouds together. Rusty was about as old as the lake we were admiring, but he was a cool guy. Told us stories of running yay before the turn of the millennium.

As we were leaving, Rusty told us “Ain’t gots ta be business alla time y’all” and that we had to come back sometime for a lake cookout. Said we’d all get drunk “for real”; his brother was cooking up some moonshine off in the woods nearby, and it’d be a real blitz. We all liked the sound of that. I asked if we could skinny dip, prodding his ribs with my expression. He wrinkled his nose and said “You best keep that thing in yer pants lil, err, lady.” I laughed and replied “Okay but you’d like the titties right?” getting a gruff grumble, narrowed eyes and a chuckle in response.

Back on the corridor, I sat between them again. I put my arms around them both. The first echoes of “Cofounder” began to ring in my ears.

I felt the energy of the three of us together, and it was a beautiful thing. I could feel Grey’s ego swelling, and Jade’s serenity radiating. I was the center of it all, the fulcrum of a self-assembled divine apparatus. We listened to music and smoked a thousand cigarettes. Jade wearing my short little skirt had me feeling a particular type of way and at some point I decided to take advantage, sliding my hand between her thighs. Grey did his best to watch while keeping an eye on the roadway as I played with her.

I didn’t let her get off, just teased her. Couldn’t have gone far with that anyway, having some of my longest nails on. Grey looked jealous at one point so I gave him a squeeze as well, but he wasn’t really into it. I laughed at them being flustered and loaded a bowl of some glimmer to help everyone chill back out.

We stopped off at some trashy Omni-mart off the roadway. Got more cigarettes, and a six pack of beer. Smashed it down as we finished off the long drive home.

At some point I laid down across the seat, legs on Grey, head on Jade.

I drank up the moment, extracting from it all that could be.

It was well after dark when we pulled back into the city, and we rolled the windows down and cruised slow down the main drag, bass from Grey’s sound system vibrating all that we passed. We crawled up and down for a bit, getting a feel for what the night was like in the core. Who was dragging main often told you a lot about the vibes that would be available off grid.

After a bit of cruising, Grey spotted some homies chilling in the abandoned lot next to our favorite spirit shop, and we whipped in there.

We hopped out and started mingling with the crew that was there. They were passing around a couple of glimmersticks rolled in grape flavored skins and we all got in on that and integrated our energy into the group. The three of us made a few small sales to various friends and acquaintances as we bounced around talking. Everyone was generally happy to see us, both because they knew we always had goods for trade; and because we were social butterflies, breathing life into every scene.

We got along with anyone who was cool.

After around an hour though, someone unwelcome showed up. Really harshed the vibe of the place quite severely. It was the guy Grey had punked out for me when we first met. Grey was yelling before they even put it in park, “Get your bitch ass outta here Eddy! Or do I need to put you in check again?” Eddy had some of his friends with him and the peer pressure made him forget what happened last time they’d interacted. He felt like a big man again, so things quickly got heated. Grey and his homies squared up with Eddy and his.

At first it looked like it might be a free for all, and Jade and I were exchanging looks, psychically discussing whether we would jump in on it if things popped off. We probably wouldn’t. Decided we were looking too cute to get our hands dirty that night. At some point Eddy proposed a “fair rematch.” Said Grey had sucker punched him and it’d go different this time. The whole crowd liked that notion, so a big ring of spectators immediately formed in the middle of the lot. Grey took off his shirt and started stepping circles around Eddy.

Eddy was clearly not as well versed in fighting and I think everyone there knew how this was about to go down, but he had asked for it and it was too late to stop now.

Grey gave him the first move, such a gentleman.

Eddy telegraphed a right hook pretty severely, Grey stepped right and, judging from experience and the quality of the strike, I would’ve wagered he broke at least one of Eddy’s ribs straight away. Eddy flinched badly and he hit him again, splitting his cheek below his right eye. The small crowd went nuts and everyone was yelling some variety of shit at their choice of man. Admittedly rather admirably though, Eddy didn’t go down; perhaps he was tougher than he looked. He danced back and collected himself.

Grey was done being nice and pressed in on him. He felt like showing off, and he kept his guard low. He ate a shot from Eddy and just laughed it off. Ed went to move back again and Grey hit him with a brutal, artful mid-kick, square in the chest. Eddy went down hard, but revealed he knew more than he’d let on: he moved with the blow and didn’t lose his breath.

This guy’d been training since we’d seen him last. Was it a grudge? Was he here for Grey? For me? Heheh.

He got up again, and Grey gave him a remorseful look. He folded his arms and waited for Ed to make his move. The crowd was getting angsty, people started shoving Eddy towards Grey. Eddy went for it again, delivering a shin kick followed by a left hook. Grey took the kick easy, but the hook caught him in the temple. He stumbled back a step, then ducked down, faking right. He hit Eddy with a left-swooping undercut that looped under his fucking ribs. Something snapped; the repeated blows had finally added up. Eddy doubled over in agony as Grey followed up with a tracking right cross that landed on the top of Eddy’s head as he folded. Eddy hit his knees, propping his torso on one arm.

Grey stepped back and everyone almost let out a collective groan, thinking he’d let him off again. He didn’t. He stepped in and carried the momentum into Eddy’s face with a full force knee strike. Eddy was out before he hit the dirt lot. Grey stood over him a moment and laughed, mirroring their previous encounter. It was fairly common in this kind of interaction to keep going until the crew stopped you, but in this case everyone but Eddy knew it was over in the instant of contact.

The fervor of the crowd reached its lurching climax. They all pressed the circle in as Jade and I went the other way, stepping off to the side. Grey reveled in the moment for a bit, as people shoved him, patted his back and yelled their kudos. I watched his face as this went on, and warmed myself on the fire of his ego. It was a beautiful thing to see. I glanced at Jade and noted she seemed to be doing the same.

For this brief instant he knew that he too was a god.

I wondered when he would get to observe my divinity in this way, if he would get off to it in the same way as I did for him. I hoped we’d see the same from Jade as well. Grey walked over to Jade and I, as everyone else descended on Eddy. His homies rushed him to his feet as the rest yelled vile shit at him. Grey smiled at us and put his shirt back on. “Y’all know that ain’t gonna be the end of it. He won’t be able to take the hit on his pride. He’d been working up to this one.” he mumbled as he watched Eddy being shoved into the back of his own ride.

Whatever came of this, I knew that we would handle it with artful precision.

Eddy’s crew pulled out of the dusty lot, his jalopy sputtering as if to add further insult to his injuries. People let Grey have his moment of triumph, but afterward everyone was dapping up Grey and congratulating him again. Someone passed him a forty as his trophy. Jade and I went inside the liquor store and bought forties of our own, making sure we stayed on the same page as Grey. My girlfriend Jackie was working so the transaction was no issue. When she realized I was part of the crowd outside she decided to take her smoke break with us.

The three of us headed back out and sat on the curb in front of the building. We smoked some of her pink cigarettes with the gold filter, watched her do a bump of blow from her keychain. She offered some to us but we said it wouldn’t do anything for us in our current state.

We filled her in on the festive events inside the circle that she had been unable to see from her vantage point. Grey broke from the group to say hi to her, and they talked business for a minute. I really enjoyed watching him interact with other girls in that way. He was gentle with them. I smiled at him as he spoke to her and he gave me a knowing look.

We all talked for a while, Jackie was feeling the night and basically forgot she had a job.

After some time had passed, people had generally gotten over their excitement from the sparring match, so Grey’s homie turned up the music in his crawler. We were all just vibing again. A few of us screwed around with dancing for a while. Jade, Jackie and I took turns grinding on each other for a bit, much to the enjoyment of everyone. Some other girls danced with Grey and we all had a great time with it, encouraging them to go hard, telling them to get wild for our brave combatant.

Eventually closing time rolled around and Jackie was shutting up the spirit shop. Things had started winding down, so we climbed back in Grey’s rig. Jackie needed a ride, so Jade got in the middle this time; Jackie sat on my lap. Grey asked if she wanted to come back to the trap for a session. I joked about how much stamina he thought he had, taking on a third girl. Jackie let it be known she wasn’t down for any ménage a quatre, but she was down to smoke with us.

She had a new boyfriend now, he was a nice guy. I’d have hated to see her fuck things up with him, only to end up back with someone like the bitch who used to cut her. I did my best to respect her boundaries. Kept my hands to myself on the way home, despite the rough side streets of the ramshackle neighborhoods bouncing her on my lap. Despite her teasing giggles about it.

When we got back to the house, Jackie and I went inside immediately but Jade and Grey stayed in the crawler for a moment, wrapping up their business from earlier in the day. She owed him most of the cred, really all of it since he’d had to drive her out there, but he’d stuck to the deal and let her hang onto it all for the interim too.

I assumed they also discussed their insidious plans for the evening, judging by the devilish grins on their faces when they finally made it inside. By that time, Jackie and I were sitting on the floor together playing a zombie shooting game on the big plasma, and I passed them the burner with a fat bowl we had started. They sat on the couch together, Jade laying her head in Grey’s lap, and watched us play the game for a while.

We blew tons of clouds, and eventually had to open the door; for oxygen. There was a nice breeze so we all sat on the porch and chatted shit.

Some time later, Jackie said she better be getting home. She was a dainty little flowery thing and lived a handful of blocks down from us. It was a rough neighborhood. It was a beautiful night though, so considering it all I said I’d walk there with her. I wasn’t much bigger than her, but I knew better than ever how to handle myself. Besides, I always had my nine if shit got too crazy. I wasn’t worried about getting hassled. She thanked me, said goodbye to the others. Gave Jade a hug, and Grey a kiss on the cheek. She put her arm through mine as we walked, leaned her head on my shoulder at times. There was a kind of platonic romance between us. We had a cute dynamic like that and had never crossed the line. Not that I wouldn’t have, but it did feel very wholesome to me.

In spite of being younger than her, it was as though I was her big sister. Guiding her toward her own prowess.

One day she might achieve transcendence approaching an approximation of my own.

We talked about the situation on the way; she was intrigued what the setup between the budding trinity was. I told her it was on the table that we’d all be hooking up that night and she said she couldn’t deny she was a bit jealous. I joked that Grey would break her little body anyway.

When we got to her house, I went inside with her and said hello to her boyfriend. He thanked me for making sure she got home safe, and let me hit the glimmer joint he was roasting. After a few pleasantries I decided to head back and said goodnight to them. Jackie wished me luck and laughed at her boyfriend’s confusion, saying she’d tell him later.

As I stepped back out onto the step, she pulled the door shut behind her, leaving us alone once again for a brief moment. She quietly said “Listen, Nyxie, I know you can take care of yourself but-” Looking down at the steps she paused awkwardly, but then continued “-but, I just have to say this. That girl, like; she’s not fucking ‘Jade’, okay? Her name is Xxxxxxxx Xxxxx Xxxxxxxxxxx.” I raised an eyebrow, but waited for her to clarify.

She cut to the point, “She’s fucking dead babe! In Sector 713, her family, the Xxxxxxxxxxx cartel; bitch how do you not know this? You gotta get out of this city some time! Fuck it, they were like; hot shit.” I’m not sure I held my smile back as she continued, “Do not get excited I swear. A few years ago, they all get fucking massacred, Nyxie; all of’em. Blood in the streets shit, god it was fucking awful… It was all over the scanners for weeks, I couldn’t watch any of it.” I nodded in understanding, not in knowing; I didn’t really give a shit what went on outside the walls.

“Listen though,” she resumed, studying my face as she spoke “I was there with Landry dropping freight last week…The same shitty drug docks they all got done at.” I could see where this was going now, but I let her finish. The awkward setup complete, she laid it out really cleanly “I saw the memorial-holos, myself, Nyx. I swear it was her face, ugh. She’s so fucking pretty I-…Well anyway I wouldn’t mistake it.” I nodded at her, winked, and kissed her cheek. “Thank you sweet girl. I’ll keep that in mind.” I said, slipping away.

I skipped a step or two on the path back to the roadway. It had been such a lovely day and I was absolutely riding it into the dust. I stared up at the few stars I could see beyond the lights and grinned at the vacancy of my mind as I walked back to the house. I wondered what kind of a scene awaited me when I’d make it back.

• Part the Third •

Wherein my trinity is consummated.

Revel with us in the completion of our divinity.

What a scene it was too. When I opened the door, Jade was laying on the coffee table. Her top was off, she was face down. Grey sat straddling her back, also shirtless. He was carving a tribal rose into her shoulder with a razer and his poke and stick kit. Blood and ink streamed to the floor, pooling on the hardwood.

Immediate turn on for me.

I bounded over to them and sat on the floor at the end of the coffee table. I fired up the glass and gave them both hits as Grey finished his work. He had a real talent for this kind of thing and the finished result was beautiful and delicate. Jade stood up and booby-bounced her way over to the old mirror on the wall, contorting her amazing body to get a better look at her new addition.

I congratulated them both before we all settled in for some more gaming. We talked shit to each other as we played and things soon got pretty heated. Grey said something about destroying our kill counts in the game, and I joked I was about ready for him to destroy us for real. Lots of flirting trash talk ensued, and eventually Jade dropped the pretense and started going on about how she wanted to spread my ass for him. Said I could go down on her while he worked me over, too. Grey and I followed her lead and started saying unhinged shit as well.

For a while we were all mostly just talking dirty to each other. Grey was getting distracted, got eaten by zombies. Threw his controller down and headed upstairs without a word. Jade and I laughed and quickly gathered supplies, following him.

When we got upstairs, he was laying on his bed staring at the ceiling, with his hand in his jeans touching himself. Jade threw her share of the supplies on the end table and hopped on the bed laying next to Grey. Meanwhile I laid my gun on the dresser, popped off my shirt; finally matching my Cofounders in respective levels of undress. Sitting down on the bed with them, I set myself up cross legged and watched.

They made out as I cut up some dope into lines on a small mirror. We didn’t usually put glass up our noses, shit hurt like hell; but it gave such a rush it seemed like the thing to do on such a monumental evening. Once I was done sculpting, they took pause to partake and we all cursed the old gods from the pain for a bit. Grey had gone first and recovered the quickest, and while I was still reeling he shoved me down and roughly jerked my shorts off. Jade was recovering now too, and slid my panties off for me.

She did just what she said she would do, spreading my ass as he spit on my hole and roughly stuffed himself inside me.

The pain and rush racing each other through my head helped with the rough entrance and I was absolutely squirming with pleasure. After a while of holding me for him, she climbed off and took off the rest of her clothes. He flipped me for her and she settled down onto my face. I licked her to the best of my ability while he folded my legs up and drilled me deeper. She reached down and tugged on my soft flesh, in delicate contrast to his merciless thrusting.

They made out and he played with our breasts. After a while he got bored of this and told us to get on our knees, we took turns taking him in our mouths, and when he had enough of that he went to work on Jade. She sucked me off while he hit her from the back. Unknown time passed us by. Eventually we switched it up again, I sat on his face while she rode him. We went on like this for hours, eventually settling on him and I trading off on Jade’s tight embrace, and finally on both of us within it at once.

As the sun started peeking in the window, he glossed our faces while she and I made a mess on the floor.

Jade and I kissed, licking each other clean, as Grey lit us three cigarettes.

We all fell into a sweaty pile.

We laughed maniacally together; knowing we’d defied every twist of fate the old gods could muster, simply with our good fortune.

The laughter subsided in time, into a placid silence. Just the sound of our breathing as we collectively journeyed back to the lower plane of existence. Jade was the first to speak. Laughing, she said “I’m not even gonna play like that ain’t the best shit I ever had.” I chuckled and groaned in agreement. Grey played coy, saying “Ehh, I’ve had better but that was pretty good.” We all laughed together once again.

I had visions of us all living together, dreamy eyed staring at them. I kept those thoughts to myself but Jade seemed to pick up on the kind of eyes I was making and gave me a sweet look in return, stroking my hair. She kissed my cheek gently and then sat up, reaching across Grey to grab the supplies we’d brought up. He bit her breast as she did and she squealed but continued her task.

The three of us shared some glimmerweed and popped some nervies, chugged the beachy liquor. We finally passed out as it neared noon once again.

The closest thing to a family I’d ever envisioned had come together in the flesh: We were complete.

Chapter Three

Learn of our glorious conquests.

The trinity was assembled; now it needed to be forged.

• Part the First •

Wherein we will found the first true divine dynasty in the primitive plane.

Experience the founding of an empire.

As I slept that day, in the arms of my Cofounders; I dreamed of a world where we were not just survivors, but rulers. Where our names were spoken with reverence and fear. A city as big as a world with us seated at the pinnacle of its eternal nightlife. An empire forged from the ashes of another.

When I awoke, it was to the sound of Grey’s voice. He was talking to Jade about some business he had to take care of that day. I listened as they discussed their plans, and I felt a sense of pride swell within me. These were my people now; this was my family.

I joined them in the living room, still groggy from sleep. Jade smiled at me and handed me a cigarette. I took a drag and started to see in color again. Grey was already dressed and ready to go, but Jade and I were still in our pajamas. We decided to take our time getting ready, enjoying the quiet “morning” together. We shared stories of our past, our hopes for the future, and our dreams of what we could accomplish together. It was a bonding experience that solidified our connection as a trinity.

As time went on and our evening morning became midnight, we all felt the call: another day, another run. We were moving so much weight these days, Grey had to pick up product from his side supplier. “I got this shmuck on the northern line that does utterly stupid rates.” he said, already beginning to get ready himself. He continued, beginning his pre-emptive risk analysis, knowing what was coming next “Yeah: it’s northside; and yeah: thats a long drive with a lot of weight.” Jade spoke up, adding on to his caveats “Not just weight; moving around with that kind of creds on you is practically illegal these days.” I laughed and piled on my share “Yeah, and its not like Jade and I aren’t in the same databases as the motherfuckers manufacturing this shit, just for being queer and foreign.”

Grey just nodded his head to each of our additions. “Yep, that’s why we won’t be getting stopped.” he said, in a matter-of-fact tone. I admired his faith in himself; the prime tool of a sharply honed psyche. Jade wasn’t so sure “Isn’t there like, literally any other way cabrón? Did we not just outline that this is stupid? Is it even necessary?” He was unfazed, replying “Well thats the thing: no, and yes; but yes.”, dawning a sarcastic smirk as he finished. She filled in the variables, but was still mildly annoyed.

He provided the necessary justification “When you’re moving the kind of weight I am, people come to expect it. If even one bastard comes through here and I just don’t have it, that is word of mouth I’m fighting for the next fuckin’ quarter. Shit; thats if they don’t just shoot the place up on principle.” With it all laid out like that, what was there to say? She just nodded her head too. I smiled and stood up, proclaiming “Let’s fuckin’ do this thing then!” I took my little ambitech princess out of my waistband and checked her condition, making sure we were ready. “All of us?” Jade asked, tentatively.

“If anything went wrong, it’d be good to have the three of us on board.” I said, smiling. She played at not knowing how she could help in such a scenario; but I sensed she would be instrumental. A beautiful hidden blade, should the need for violence arise. I toyed with her, ever so carefully, as I elucidated her role “You’re our ghost.” I prodded, then immediately covered my tracks “They’ve seen me with him before, but not you. Free variable.” She might have almost flinched; raised an eyebrow and smiled, conceding “Fine, just don’t start shit and I won’t have anything to worry about.” Grey and I laughed at that, and she rolled her eyes. “Do I get a gun?” she bargained, playfully.

“Uh fuckin’ of course bitch, what are we; stupid?” Grey said, handing her the model 19. She looked at it as though she’d never seen a gun, but demonstrated immediate competency. She racked the slide, counted one in the chamber. Ejected the magazine, counted the slots; did the math. I watched the familiar, blood-honed algorithm running in her mind. When I looked up I noted Grey doing the same. He and I exchanged a knowing look, smiling quietly. Grey put the model 21 in his waistband; a statement that he was ready to go. Jade giggled “This is so fucking over the top y’all…thought you was chill and shit…” she said between laughing spells.

“Better safe than sorry” Grey said, a shift in tone from his usual delivery of facts. He was giving us a glimpse at his core calculus, and it was delivered in the tone of a man who’d killed before and believed there was a very real chance he might have to again.

It was fucking electric. The little hairs on the back of my neck stood up. This was living; a feeling at best only emulated by the drugs we peddled. We all stopped what we were doing; slowed down, and looked at each other. A pact was required. The warrior’s agreement. We each nodded; somberly together, in unison.

Grey grabbed a couple spare mags and was headed out the door. Jade stopped him, spreading her arms at him. He raised an eyebrow, then reached out and hugged her. She grabbed the model 21 from his waistband. She wrapped her arms around him then, ejected the mag behind his back. Checked the weight; smirked. Held it up for him to see, saying “You’re three short babe.” He just grabbed the kit and turned back to me, grinning like a primitive’s devilbeast; then went back to the vault. Her and I shared a flirty glance, and then I checked my mag once more. I could feel the pride swelling in my chest again. These were my people, my family. We were going to get through anything together.

Grey breezed by again, headed out the door; he started firing up the rig. As the great engine outside roared, Jade and I quickly gathered some extra supplies for our trip. As we climbed into the crawler, I felt a renewed sense of purpose and excitement fueling my divine flame.

The first forging of the trinity had begun.

It was a long, treacherous journey to the northern line; but it started off easy enough. We took the neighborhood roadway to a spoke, then headed for the corridor. This time of night, traffic was shit. I took the opportunity to dose us up; pulled a quarter sack of ice from my gear bag and a burner. This made sure we were at peak performance. Everyone else would be where we were going; not an edge, this was the cost of admission. You could see the corridor from a few kilometers out; massive looming hubris, shadowing a vast artery through the heart of the hub. I saw Grey’s knuckles go white on the input levers as we approached. At least the traffic stayed moving up there.

“Time to become a cog in the great big fucking-machine, ladies.” Grey said, as we aligned with the hookup point of the corridor. A large arm swung off the next passing barge; grappling the mount points at the top of the rig. The sound of metal under load, a brief lurch; we were in the air. As we were wrenched up by the crane, a drone was catapulted from the side of the barge. It entered freefall, descending to meet us; then engaged cold gas thrusters to match our trajectory. Grey flipped some switches on the control panel as the drone shot a small harpoon into the side of the rig, anchoring itself to us. “Fucking corpo scannerbots.” he said, as a red prompt flashed on the scanner. “Chipping the damn paint.” He typed a command into the scanner console and triumphantly hit a final button. The drone’s beacon light flashed, then went dim. The harpoon released and the drone fell away, disappearing into the night.

Jade’s eyes grew wide; she got out “What the fuck? You can’t just-” before Grey was laughing. He pointed to the scanner. “There’s a 2 microsecond window right as it releases the initial grapple and begins its scan. It has authorization from command for its next actions, so it doesn’t validate. I just told it command said shutdown.” She was seemingly prepared for this response; I wondered how deep her old life would go as she quickly replied, taking his brilliant hack for granted “Yes, but if they find that fucking thing-” He interrupted her again “If they happened to find the wreckage, it’ll be a cycle or two before they know what went down; even then, good luck tracing the exact pickup point that triggered the fault.”

She took on the opposite expression now; squinting at him. She was checking his math. It didn’t matter by this point anyway, we were being deposited onto the barge. The city was a labyrinth of concrete and steel, but the corridor would take us right through; as long as we could avoid the much less hackable, still somewhat human PMC operators that patrolled the decks of the great barges. We could see them already, through the dark tint. I was absolutely enthralled, taking in all the new variables of this environment. Sick body armor. Some kind of heads up display completely intercepts their normal vision. Big fucking dudes. No women? Forget that, look: people were getting out of their crawlers, walking toward the front of the deck; and to a large cabin at the rear. I felt my Cofounders’ energy tense as their more combat-hardened instincts began to kick in. I could almost see them projecting tactical grids and ballistic arcs in their minds, calculating the best cover points and angles of attack. I was completely in the moment, and I could feel the shift in the air crescendo as we prepared for what was to come.

Grey popped his door and hopped out first; Jade and I followed suit, piling out after him. The best thing we could do was to be was casual here, and so the primary worry was left temporarily sealed inside the crawler.

We were still dressed for the part at this point of the journey. It didn’t matter yet, the barges were the great equalizer; everyone was another cog up here. We walked to the front of the deck to get a better vantage on the looming black obelisks ahead. I felt PMC eyes on us, but it was business as usual for now. We were just another group of workers, tourists, or some other innocuous bullshit. You could practically sense their movements, the plasteel armor and high tech gear imposed such a physical presence. Before we reached the railing I took the opportunity to look up at the great spinal support column that stretched from horizon to horizon above us, suspending a seemingly never ending series of barges. The corridor was a marvel of engineering, a testament to the power and ambition of the city. It was also an absurd psalm to the pride and narcissism of the mega-corporations that built it, and I couldn’t help but feel a sense of awe and dread at the same time. I lit a cigarette and took a long drag, internalizing the scale of it all. It gave one a sense of being small, insignificant; and also a sense of being part of something much larger than oneself. It seemed a perfect metaphor for the control they exerted over the lives of the people below.

Arriving at the railing, we looked out over the city. The view was breathtaking. An ocean of lights; and in front of us, great black spires rising into the clouds. If we got past those, we’d be in northside. We’d also be totally fucked by then, in the position we were as of now. It was time for the improvisational bit of our plan. “So how do we get through?” I asked, gesturing at the giant obelisks looming ahead. “We just need the tags.” Grey replied, continuing “Only corpos allowed in uptown. So we need ID badges.” Jade picked up for him saying “Normally, you’d get one in there-” as she gestured subtly toward the large cabin that dominated the rear of the barge. “If you were actually a corporate bozo.” I said. Grey carried the line of thought now, answering me “Right; they’ve got these embedded tags. That lets them track your movements through the mass surveillance system that they use to control access to uptown.” Jade finished the analysis, saying “We need to get some IDs, buzz the badges with a bit of new firmware. Then we can get through the security checkpoints entering and leaving uptown.” I put my back to the railing, taking it all in. “So, what then? We pickpocket a couple of these cats wondering around?” I asked. Grey nodded, “That’s one option. If you’re slick enough, I don’t have the finesse myself. I was thinking we’d go in the back of the cabin, probably only one guard there, I can get the drop on him; find a scanner…” Jade laughed, throwing her wager in “Well I was thinking we just smooth talk some lonely PMC boy into giving us his.”

The genius of the solution hit us at once: we’d do all three. Spread our disturbance vector across a wider area, decreasing our chances of detection. Jade and Grey would work their way aft, toward the cabin together. Upon arrival, she’d split off; if there was more than one guard she’d attempt to distract him while Grey got the drop on the other. Otherwise, she’d stay in the light, letting her pretty face do the work. I would stay at the front, and work my way through the crowd, socializing. When I found my mark it would be a pleasant conversation, a warm embrace. They wouldn’t know until they were stopped by the PMCs at the first checkpoint. I’d swipe a few more while I was at it, to bury the lead on us.

We finished our cigarettes and they headed off toward the cabin. I lingered a while, just taking in the view. Some old god of this place zipped by in an aerolite. I watched the lights of the city reflect off its hull as it passed overhead, leaving a luminous trail of agitated scrubber nanites glowing in its wake. A part of me wanted to be up there, soaring above the city. But it wasn’t my time yet. I turned my back to the ever-encroaching black spires once more, and began to take in the crowd of marks before me. Looking for someone who had the right kind of energy; something to lose. In short order, I spotted my first target. Mid-level management looking guy; on the railing across the bow from me. He wasn’t looking ahead like everyone else. He was peering over the side, watching the crawlers below us. I could tell he was a bit of a loner; consequence of living the double life of a middle manager. He saw the slums, worked in them during the day. Then went home to his cushy uptown condo at night. That is, after he’d had his fill of the nightlife. My girls, my drugs; my world…Heh, easy start. Let’s do it.

I slinked across the deck, weaving my way through the little gatherings of people. PMC eyes on me again: What’s this bitch doing crossing the whole fucking deck? No matter; they’d soon assume I was just another hooker looking for her johnny. I cleared the rasp off my voice before I reached him, appearing quietly behind him with a “Scuse me, mister. You gotta light?” He raised his head but didn’t look at me immediately. The fuck? He spoke to the city, “Is that little miss Nyxie I hear?” Ah. Shit. Shoulda got a look at that face first; never reuse a mark. “I’m afraid so, darling.” I said, weighing the possibilities. He was either a pawn in an old game, or he was a client for my ladies of the night. I didn’t get client vibes.

He spun around, tried to look suave. It was a bit clumsy. Kind of cute in a dumb, old guy sort of way; maybe he was a client after all. The faux-gentleman type was usually capable of sufficiently containing his darker impulses; making them safer fare for my girls. He was wearing a fairly dapper little suit, he had money; too much fucking money to be looking so longingly at the underworld. Was he looking for me down there? I couldn’t have discerned this man from the inventor of the fucking cred stack; I’d seen a thousand faces like his down there playing the games. But I had a pretty good hunch of his category, so I took my shot.

“Where’ve you been all my life, daddy?” I said, pouting. He frowned and said “I should ask you the same thing, my little flower.” I had a flash of a memory; a drunken haze. This guy was there, using that same clumsy pet name; some shit about blooming. “I haven’t seen you since your birthday party, my love.” he said, after a moment of wistful reflection. I smiled, wanted to shake his damn hand; thank him. “Yes honey, I’m sorry about that. I’m a very busy girlie you know.” I said, then leaned in and whispered “Do you have a fucking light?” He winced at my crass language, and produced the lighter. Perfect; this type loved it when I made them squirm. He struck it for me in his big fidgety paw, and I remained close, letting him feel my warmth radiating through the night air as I pulled the first embers into the cigarette. I took a long drag, then leaned back on the railing beside him; against him. I smiled at him. “Thank you, daddy.” I said, blowing the smoke into his face. He suppressed a little cough and smiled back at me dimly. “So what are you up to, miss Nyxie? Out here, all alone?” he asked, trying to sound casual; authoritative. He was very nervous now.

“Baby…Fuck me, honestly! Not to be too dramatic, truly; but I think it might be fate we’ve run into each other like this.” I said, looking up at him with doe eyes. Time for the hook “I was with some people, you know…And they; well. They turned out to be the wrong type of people. Really nasty guys.” I began scanning the crowd again. Where was that scent from earlier? There. Four rough looking good ol’ boy types. Off-duties? Possibly northern cartel. No matter, they’d do; let him catch the look. “These nasty guys…” he said, putting his arm around me “…they didn’t hurt you, did they?” Tense up just a bit. “No, daddy; uhm…No, nothing like that.” Wait for him to take the bait. “Nyxie,” he said, stroking my shoulder “Its a barge. They must still be here. If they hurt you, you have to tell me. Please, I can do something about this; you know that.” That sounded like real authority. Hah! Who was this guy? Was I handing out birthday lap dances for the PMC? God damn.

Fuck it, too far in now; see what shakes out. Don’t play it too fast though. “Well. I-I don’t know. I’ve been through a lot. You’d know better than me, what counts; but they were…particularly nasty, daddy.” I said, letting some tears well up in my eyes. I leaned into him hard, pulled his arm around me tighter. “I really don’t know.” I said, and let out a soft whimper. “That fucking counts in my book, princess.” he said, kissing my forehead. Looking at the men I had planted in his mind moments before, he grumbled “You should go in the cabin. Might get ugly out here.” Nice. Make some noise, daddy. Ah, but cover the tracks. “But…daddy I didn’t say wh-” he cut me off, “No butts except that sweet ass of yours little flower, go inside. I told you, this is what I do. I already know.” Aha. This mother fucker fancied himself…No wait, he was; a detective. A pretty shitty one. Wasn’t “rule one of detecting” supposed to be something like “no dames?” Damn. I kissed him. Let the poor bastard have a little taste of my tongue; a reward for what had been a wildly entertaining little gambit. And a consolation for what’d likely come next.

He hugged me tight and whispered “Find me at the checkpoint. I’ll explain the situation; have them send you home.” I held the embrace longer than he asked, sealing the deal as I said “Thank you, d-daddy. Please be careful.” Then I gave him a nice little show as I walked away. Shit; never did get his name. Oh well. Once I sensed him moving away from the railing behind me I slipped back into the crowd. Rather than a warm embrace, tonight’s transactions would need to happen through a quick bump, a passing brush; during the impending commotion. All the same in the end. I waited patiently for my mark to create the distraction, moving through the crowd, picking targets I’d hit when the moment finally came. This one, he’s already distracted anyway; the noise will disorient him. Her over there: she’s way too casual with that big ass bag. Just needed one or two more.

It was beginning now; have to find the spares on the fly. “ALRIGHT! You four. Don’t fucking move! ZF-PD Special Investigations Unit; Officer Clancy. Got some questions.” The detective’s voice boomed from the bow “Y’all just hear me out so shit ain’t gotta get weird up here, m’kay?” Holy shit, now that was commanding authority. Maybe he wasn’t the worst detective; just a soft spot for girls way too young for him. People started to look. I snagged the first ID almost immediately, then began working my way to the next victim as I kept scanning for more. Just as I reached the girl with the big sack, hell itself broke loose at the front of the ship. They didn’t feel like talking and preferred shit to get weird up here, it seemed. I couldn’t see much as I snapped the ID off the bag and moved with the now shit-scared crowd. I could make out what sounded like continued exchanges of gunfire, over the sound of some dumb bitch screaming. Maybe she took a slug for him. In any case I figured the detective hadn’t been eliminated in the initial volley. He’d probably make it out of this one; lucky bastard.

The crowd was making their way into the cabin, as though the grand glass facade would stop the hail of bullets. I followed the herd, snagging one more ID on my way inside as I kept my eyes open for Jade. There, at the bar. Some shmuck next to her; as predicted. I entered the room along with the chaos, and they were just beginning to turn around and see what was going on. I glimpsed her snag his wallet off the counter as she began making her way toward me. He was too drunk and enraptured in the violence to notice her slip away. About the time we were going to be reunited, a stray round hit the facade and the place erupted into a fountain of safety glass and a cacophony of screams. Instead of trying to meet me she changed trajectory and now we both were running to the swinging double doors that led to the rear cabin.

She was glaring cold death at me by the time we were in speaking distance. “What the FUCK did you DO?” she spewed at me, somehow still cute; almost amused but still needing to be angry with me. I began to explain “I actually did not do that. Well. Not exactly, you se-” but I was cut off by a guttural scream from beyond the cabin doors. We exchanged quizzical looks, continuing our sprint toward whatever it was. Blood ran out from under the doors as we finally drew in close. She pulled her gun and I followed her lead. She cut the sprint before we arrived, instead switching to an angled sweep up to the door. I did my best to cover us. She kicked open the door; it rebounded off something squishy and came back. I caught it and allowed her to move through first. She saw the corpse first, saying “PMC. Good sign, but where’s our boy?” I shrugged, closing the doors behind us. Doing better than that guy, wherever he was.

“The scream; any idea?” I prodded her. I couldn’t really make out anything about the screamer; even the gender was lost through the agony it was expressing. “None. Somewhere back here though. I’ll take the left.” she said, gesturing to the hallway that led deeper into the cabin. I nodded and we moved in opposite directions, guns raised. I could hear her footsteps echoing down the hall as I moved toward the rear of the cabin. The sound of my own breathing was loud in my ears, and I could feel my heart racing. Focus was dialed in now, adrenaline and drugs doing their beautiful dance. I was ready for anything. I started working my way through the tight corridor, checking the side rooms as I went. I could hear the sound of my own footsteps echoing off the metal walls, and I felt a sense of unease creeping in. Too many variables stacking against me here. The cabin was dark, lit only by the faint glow of emergency lights. I moved cautiously, my gun at half-ready so I could still box if I had to.

I reached the end of the corridor and found myself in a large room. It was a mess; furniture overturned, papers scattered everywhere. I could see blood on the floor, and I knew something had gone down here. But what, and with who? If only my detective buddy were here. I moved further into the room; motion to my left. I spun, hit the tac light on my compact and trained it on the source. Grey. Fucker. He made a shushing gesture. I killed my light and moved toward him, whispering “What the FUCK did you DO?” As I got in close and I could see his face, I realized it was not the time for callbacks. He was white as fresh ice and he had the devil in his eyes. “Nyx. I…can’t explain this right now; I promise you I will. Okay? Right now, THIS FUCKING CORPO PIG BITCH HAS TO DIE. PAINFULLY.” The switch from a whisper to a scream would have startled me if not for his deathly demeanor leading into it. Fucking hell. Why’d all our skeletons have to fall out of the closet, tonight?

Jade heard him screaming and soon arrived at the source. He was already gone again, so I quietly filled her in on the window to insanity I’d just seen in his eyes.

“The fuck do we do now?” she whispered. I replied simply “Let him hunt.”

It didn’t take long. There was an almost subtle, startled yell. Some general begging; I began to suspect the “corpo pig” was not a PMC. Sounded feminine. A final, seething scream. Definitely female. And then… something even more unexpected. I doubted Jade even picked out the name, over the gurgling. A dead name, a plea to a ghost. I wouldn’t have picked it up, if its use hadn’t been so deeply forbidden. My heart broke a little for him. When he came back out though, he seemed like a weight was off his shoulders. A complex variable in his calculus had finally been assigned a constant value. Jade and I both ran to him and embraced him. “Sorry you had to see me like that” he mumbled. I whispered “You did what you had to.” and we both squeezed him tighter.

The gunfight out front seemed to be winding down now, it grew quiet for a moment with the three of us bundled together there. Then, another burst of fire. Three careful return shots, police issue revolving bore. Things would have then descended into silence again; except for the screams of the wounded. The volume had been turned way down on them by this point; we all just looked at each other, working it out. So many questions; and no time. Only trust would carry us through now. “Nyx; you were out front. What’s the situation?” Grey asked, his voice steady but low. I gave them the short of it “Sounds like four dead goblins on the bow, along with a possibly wounded detective.” They both shook their heads, but Grey pressed on “Okay, so we need to blend in. All the chaos; this shit back here will initially be lumped in with that.” Great plan. “One issue,” I said, feeling a bit sheepish “That detective’s going to be looking for me at the checkpoint. Supposed to make sure I get home safe.” Glares.

“Don’t worry,” I said, reassuring them both “he’s my little puppy dog. I’ll figure it out.”

We made our way back to the forward cabin just in time; swarmer bots were descending on the barge. Wouldn’t want to be seen walking out of that mess. Jade and I sat at the bar, and Grey poured us all some drinks. We would simply wait our turn for interviews, pass through the checkpoints, and filter out into the city like all the other witnesses. We just had to get by Clancy, and I figured I had the perfect solution. I knocked back my drink, lit a cigarette, and went to find the fucker. Jade’s quarry was still unfortunately healthy. Looked like he too had helped himself to the bar, and he’d spotted her now. Good time for me to get out of the way. “Samantha! You’re goo—kay?” he slurred at her “Did you fucking see that s-s-shit? I mean my g-” I tuned him out; focusing on the new goal as I eyeballed the crowd. Couldn’t be too probing; people would be analyzing the swarmer bot feeds on scanners the size of our house for days after this. Already standing out a bit. Just don’t give them any clues. Probably still in the forward area of the deck. Yes, in fact right back where I left him. Pulling the same brooding look across the underworld. I was going to figure out this man’s deal someday, I resolved; but this wasn’t that day.

I came upon him quietly again, but he sensed me this time. He turned around as I drew near, a fat cigar smoldering in his face. He was solemn “I’m really sorry ‘bout all the violence Nyxie. I tried to give’em a fair shake, I really did. Seems like people just wanna get weird these days.” I looked over at the mess strewn across the bow. One of them was still agonizing; swarmer bots had them all in restraints. I gave my best impression of empathy for the fallen; tried to look mortified at the violence. “It’s okay, daddy.” I said, putting my arms around him. I put my head on his shoulder and whispered “I know you tried to help them too. Thank you.” He hugged me tight; seemed to take some comfort in my words. I could feel his heart beating against my chest, and I knew he was still shaken up by what had happened. “Just wanted to make sure you were safe, little flower.” he said, his voice low and sincere. I smiled at him, feeling a warmth spread through me. “I know it, honey. I’ll always remember it.” I said, kissing his cheek.

I pulled back and looked him in the eyes. “Listen doll, about that lift home…” I said, trailing off. He nodded, “Of course, sweetheart. Home safe, I promise.” I smiled and said “About that…I think I might have to go to uptown, just for a squeeze. Would that be alright?” He looked at me, a bit confused. “Uptown? How you getting around there?” I smiled, “Oh, you know. A girl has her ways. I ran into some friends at the bar inside; they want to help me forget about…well, all of this.” I gestured to the chaos around us. He nodded, still a bit confused but willing to go along with it. “Alright, sweetheart. Just be careful, okay? Uptown can be dangerous. You got ID right?” I smiled and kissed him again, then turned to leave. “Of course. Thank you, daddy. I’ll see you soon. Where we met, okay?” I said, gently blowing him a kiss goodbye as I walked away.

Embracing the poor, traumatized detective; now that’d play well on the scanners. Couldn’t believe my luck with that guy. He was a real live softy, and I could tell he genuinely cared about me.

The truly unrestrained subconscious can traverse the gaps between facts; finding fictions fall to fill in the missing world left in their wake.

Maybe I really would see him again, figure out that enigmatic stare. In any case, I had my way out of this mess. As I made my way back to Jade and Grey, the PMC Aerolites were coming in. The Cofounders were still at the bar when I got back inside. They both gave me crazy eyes; they’d seen what’d gone down at the other end of the ship. I smiled and said “All good, ladies. I got us a way out.” They both looked at me, then at each other, then back at me. Grey had grown used to my callbacks, he just said “You really think I’m a pretty lady?” Jade rolled her eyes and said “No but really niña, I can’t wait to hear all about that.” I laughed. “Later,” I said, “Not in front of my fans.” loosely gesturing to the PMC officers who were now filtering in from the bow. They were scanning the crowd, looking for any signs of trouble.

“Let’s just chill for now.” Grey said quietly, pouring me another drink. I took it and smiled, feeling a sense of relief. We had this thing in the bag now.

Eventually they made their way around to us. “You three. You were out front?” one of them asked in a gruff baritone. I shook my head and spoke for the group, “No sir, just me. They were in here at the bar. I was out front, I had just spoken to my friend; Detective Clancy. He was …well, he was trying to help me.” Baritone cleared his throat, “Sorry, ma’am. Are you saying you were involved in the altercation out front?” I shook my head again, vigorously this time. “Oh no, sir. Gods no. I told Clancy that those were nasty men, but he made me go inside. He tried to sort things out with them but…Gosh, I don’t know what happened. I was headed inside like he told me when it all started.” I said, giving him the doe eyes. He nodded, “Alright, and how was it that you had come to know these were ‘nasty’ men?” I looked at the floor. “Well. I feel pretty bad saying it given everything that’s happened now, but I was sort of just flirting with him. Trying to play detective too; I mean, you saw those guys. They were nasty.”

“You-you were flirting?” Officer Deepvoice asked, his tone shifting slightly to the amused. I nodded shyly. “Yes sir, I—I mean. I didn’t say ‘Hey Clancy, go shoot those guys.’ I thought we were having fun and then he got all serious and said I should go.” The PMC shook his head and suppressed a laugh. “Fucking Clancy. Detective Mendoza is gonna love this one.” he said under his breath. He looked us up and down, then looked to Jade and Grey, saying “And you two didn’t see anything?” They shook their heads quietly, then Grey spoke “Nothing useful sir; I was back here pouring her a drink when the front windows went down. All I saw was a flash of light and then people moving.” The pig nodded along. It all added up well enough; except “Well what the fuck happened back there, then?” the PMC said, gesturing toward the double doors to the rear cabin; blood oozing out of them. Grey chuckled and shook his head “Shit, we ain’t going to check. But I know there was a lady back there with a PMC when shit popped off. Heard’er screamin’ at’em bout offin’ herself.” Ice cold. “So, what? She said ‘I’m tired of all the violence on barges, I’m going to kill myself?’” the officer replied incredulously. “No jefe,” Jade laughed, continuing “I think dude caught a stray or something. Her screaming this shit was at his dead culo. Couldn’t take the loss.” What a lady. The officer shook his head “And y’all didn’t step in? Try to help her?” Grey frowned and grumbled “Hey man, if there was something to do I would have, word? No reason for the rest of us to get cut up with her.” What a man.

They didn’t even blink. He lied with the ease of a man ordering a drink, and she added the perfect, cruel little flourish. They were a symphony of beautiful, pragmatic bullshit. My symphony. I’d never felt safer in my life. It was bullshit though, so the question remained: did he want to believe? “Alright, great. Just what my week needed” he said. PMC thought it over for a while, then said “An additional psycho the B.I.A. will want a full logical deconstruction of. Hell. Ain’t any logic in this shit anymore.” He grumbled to himself for a bit, trying to figure out what he’d missed, finally concluding “Okay then. You three are cleared; you should return to your crawlers. Just make sure you have your ID ready when we get to the checkpoint. Nobody’s getting off this boat without one after this shit.”

We thanked him for his courtesy, and gathered our things off the bar. As we left, he held me back by saying “Oh, one more thing. You; girl. Uhm…Nyx, was it? I need to have a word with you. Alone.” I nodded to the others that it was okay, and they continued on to the crawler.

As the remaining witnesses cleared the room he sat at the bar and poured himself a drink. Took off his headgear; finally revealing that he did, in fact, have eyes in the usual human arrangement. They had the same touch of and disdain for the underworld as Clancy’s. But these were a burning fire. He gestured toward me with the bottle, I nodded; he poured me another drink in the glass I’d been using. I took a sip, mumbling “So what did you need, honey?” as I savored the burning sensation. He shook his head, saying “Well first, don’t try that noir dame shit with me. I ain’t Clancy.” He said it with the usual gruff, but not really demanding; more a declaration for my benefit. “Hah. Yes sir.” I said and smirked. He popped open a flap on the tac webbing across his body armor. I may have tensed, a fraction of a muscle. He picked up on it, somehow. “Relax, girl. We’re chillin’.” he mumbled. He reached into the pocket and pulled out…Well, how interesting. A fucking bag of ice. He laid it on the table, and then inquired “Got a burner?”

I laughed and replied “I don’t tend to carry one; least not when both the PMC and ZF-PD are actively investigating crimes in the immediate vicinity.” He looked disappointed. “Fuck it” he gruffed, slamming his fist on the table. This time I didn’t flinch. Just another way to break up the rock, sir. He pulled the bag from under his fist and checked on his efficacy. Must’ve been good enough. He pointed at a stack of plates across the bar, by the servers’ sink. Sure, let’s do ice together, officer. I went and grabbed a plate and handed it to him. He dumped the bag and went to digging in his webbing again. Got out a knife. Split the quarter bag into two enormous lines. I suddenly didn’t like where this was going as much. He smiled at me. Good teeth. Put his head down and tanked a whole line.

As he came back up I met his red-eyed gaze. A bit breathless, I basically whispered to him “What the fuck?” He was a completely different person now. No, an animal. He always was; it was just contained. That was the fire razing the underworld inside his eyes. He’d sat me down politely, and let a beast off the leash in the same gesture. Names. Motives. Now.

He stared at me. Several seconds crept by and he just kept fucking staring. He was trying to make me squirm? He’d left his knife jabbed in the table. Time for my own plays. I quickly snatched his knife out of the polyvinyl bar top and then, instead of threatening him; I cut a dainty line off the ridiculous portion he’d allotted me. Used the back of my nail to scoot it onto the blade; did my bump off his knife without putting my head down, and jammed it back near where I’d grabbed it from. I let my voice drop a register. “No but really though, we gonna talk or just get high, babe?” I said, trying to goad him. He gently closed his eyes and let out a laugh. “Honestly? Why can’t it ever be the latter?” he half-said, his gruff tone dissolving. He took a deep breath, then said “Alright, let’s talk. First things first: I need to know something.” He leaned in closer, his voice low and conspiratorial. “Did you fuck Clancy?”

“Excuse me?” I laughed, saying “Are you serious…No, not that I recall. Why are you asking me that?” He didn’t care for that answer and his eyes went low. He continued the conspiratorial tone, amusingly “What do you mean, not that you recall?” Suddenly I realized this guy could actually be of some use on that angle. I said “Look, I’ll be real with you. Didn’t know who the bastard was when I walked up to him tonight…” And I fucking told him the whole thing. Figuring out it was my birthday; must’ve been the strip club. All the backstory I could give him. ”…So yeah. It’d be weird for me to fuck an old dude like Clancy but, hell.” I paused to finish off my drink, then finished with “It was weird that I was in a strip club with him and he was talking about my blossoming.” On that beat he went down on the plate again, finished off the ice. Made me wonder if there was still a heart in his chest or just some kind of pump that was immune to tachycardia. At this level, I was pretty sure a person should just spontaneously combust.

He wiped his nose on his arm, sniffed deep again and then and grumbled “You wanna know how many time’s I’ve heard that line?” Hm, concerning. “The not recalling, or the blossoming?” I asked; he gave the inevitable answer “Both.”

I wasn’t sure what else he wanted from me, now. Great, guys a weirdo. And? I said “Well look dude; I don’t know if he’s some pedo, I was turning eighteen. That was kind of the whole thing. And I never saw him before tha-” He cut me off, asking “How do you know?” I laughed at him, and said “I would fucking remember that man, guy’s like fifty, right? I mean, I don’t know how old he is but he’s old enough to be my dad. And I would remember if I’d been fucking my dad.” He shook his head “You don’t know shit. Hell, I don’t even know what the fucking corpos can do with all this new shit they’ve got in my fucking helmet. Maybe they the ones got me hooked on the ice in the first place. God damn.” I giggled again, raised an eyebrow. Gave him a sarcastic “Yeah man, not your fault.” This guy was some kind of troubled but why was it my problem? “What exactly is it that you want from me, officer?” I asked, studying his face. “Fucking Kemp. Call me that. Officer… I’m sick of it.”

I repeated my inquiry, “What exactly is it that you want from me, Kemp?” He rolled his neck around the rim of his body armor. Pulled yet another prop from his webbing; cigarettes. Offered me one, I nodded. He pulled two from the pack with his mouth and lit them, then handed me one. He took a long drag before he finally got to the fucking point, saying “Well shit, I don’t know really. I know more went on here than you said, but not what. I know Clancy’s a super creep, but not how. Not exactly. I saw a connection; I took the leap.” Had to hand it to him, it was a bold play. I decided to help him, and possibly myself, and said “Yeah, so. Listen. We’re supposed to be meeting again. Another thing I just sort of said; but, I could use that. He’s a little lapdog when I’m around, bud. I could get him to spill it; tell me his dark fantasies.” The fire in Kemp’s eyes lit up again, like a predator smelling blood. He smacked his armor-clad thigh, exclaimed “Fuck! Yes.” and then asked me the all important “You’d do that?” Big smile. Hey, no dame shit right? Keep it real with him. I whispered through my grin “If you make it worth it my time.” He nodded. That’s a contract. In this world; with a PMC? That was better than creds, ice, or guns. I had access to a man who could take all that shit away from people. A man on the inside of the machine; possibly two if I was careful to string this out right.

I gave him my buzzer number and returned to the crawler, excited to go over the situation and what they’d gotten up to in my absence.

Back inside the rig, Grey and Jade had been busy hacking the tags of our IDs. They were just finishing up mine when I knocked; gave them a chance to cover, then popped the seal and climbed in. Jade was excited to see me “Ah sick bitch, how’d that go? I need to take your picture real fast hold still.” I did my best to look neutral as I got flash-banged by the photobulb; then said, as smugly as I could muster, “Really well. Like I said; fans of mine.” Grey was liking that joke a lot less now “Why you got fans in the PMC, hoe?” he grumbled, then tacked on an additional grievance “and you got a ZF-PD detective on your ass?” Jade smacked his shoulder, but then gave me a look that said “Well?” And so I began the long task of debriefing them, and they started to fill me in on what happened with them as well. It was fairly uneventful by comparison, up until it was time for Grey to finally tell us about the screaming woman.

“That was purely personal,” he started; getting cut off by Jade, saying “Well no shit!” as we laughed. He continued as though she hadn’t said anything “I have some…Ghosts, following me.” I wasn’t really getting where he was going with this yet either. I said “So this was a spirit-woman?” and Jade snorted. “No! Fucking hell. I’ma need y’all to be real if I’m going to get through this shit.” He said, and we both sobered up a bit and nodded. “That woman; we were very close. She was in the same martial classes as me. Way back.” he said, continuing “When my parents first sent me to that school, I didn’t want to go. But then I met her. She was always trying to prove herself. I fell in love with her; I was inspired.” He looked almost happy as he had said those words, and he continued to look dreamy as he spoke of his master “She made me understand the truths the master was trying to give.” Then his face went dark again, as he tried to complete the story “One day, in a regular sparring match; she killed our master. The man that had given us both everything we knew. And she fuckin’ got away with it, all this time. When I saw her-” he stopped himself, feeling the rage welling up again. The three of us embraced, and things were quiet for a while. Then, he finally continued; as if he’d never left off ”- I could remember all the good times together, with her. Before. It made me sick.” He shook his head, spit on the floor of the rig, and finally finished “And then she spoke his words, in that sickly sweet voice. Every word she’d breathed since his death was a poison. I had to end the corruption of his legacy.”

Jade and I hugged him tight, and she said “The world needs more men like you, Grey.”

Never assume the faith of others lacking; this is a universal. It is what they have faith in; that must be interrogated.

It was still a while before the checkpoint. We passed the time smoking dope and cigarettes; going over our plans. Finally, we were approaching. The great spires of uptown had become a seemingly infinite wall of black glass and gleaming metals from our new perspective. The barge slid smoothly into the face of one and there was a lurch as we came to a stop; we were in the checkpoint. Around us, crawlers began firing their engines and the barge’s lights seemed dim by comparison as the the checkpoint lights flared to life. A blood lake on the bow was gleaming in the new ambiance. Grey fired up the rig as well and we began lining up for the small corridor the PMCs had created around what they could cordon off of the crime scene. The front railing lowered and the first crawlers began to disembark. As each one passed through the checkpoint, the PMC officers would scan their IDs and wave them through.

The first one wasn’t so lucky. Girl with the big bag. They ripped her from the crawler and another PMC drove it out of the way of the impromptu convoy. When we got to our turn, it was a simple matter of showing the new ID cards we’d collected. They scanned them, and we were off. I never doubted my Cofounders’ hacking abilities, and neither did they. We breezed by. As we began to turn to align with the next barge, I saw Kemp and Clancy on the front of the deck. Behind us, a guy was getting pulled from the passenger side of a crawler. Kemp still had his helmet off, and he had a stupid look on his face. His hand was in the shape of a gun and he was waving it around wildly. Shouting some sort of shit; about Clancy being a trigger happy idiot, no doubt. Clancy looked tired.

The design of this place was asinine. It was all planned out before the invention of the Aerolite, so they had the spine rise right up to the clouds to hit the checkpoint. Take the old gods straight to their home. But that meant, to actually get into the useful part of uptown, you had to go down. So, now; with no CEO in sight for a decade, it was as though we were made to bow before entering the city gates. Perhaps that was what the founders had intended all along. There was a vertical barge on the next level, and we followed the other crawlers; spiraling down to it. When we got there, it was a five minute ride to the ground. “People really do this shit, every single day?” I asked Grey. He said “People do worse than this every day. I knew a guy who commuted from the outer hub to here just to clean the fucking toilets.” I couldn’t believe people would just throw their lives away like that. He summarized his view on the whole thing by saying “This was post bot-rev, too; swear. They make you do it just to fuck with you, I think.”

We were finally on the ground again. The front railing lowered once more and we drove out into the night. Standard neighborhood roadways; street level shops and apartments. And then, stacked on top of all that regular life; towers reaching to the sky. It felt surreal, like being inside a scanner. Street lights needed to be on all the time. Swarmer bot patrols zipped around. And fucking people; everywhere. I’d been in the clubs on crazy nights, I knew what it was like having a lot of bodies in a small space. But the scale of this was different. An ocean, and each molecule of water in that ocean was a person. Sometimes moving together, sometimes colliding. It was fascinating. A great beast, in composite. A bacterial plague. Jade was glued to the windows, craning her vision upward. “Look! That apartment up there has a whole garden on the balcony! How lovely.” she said, smiling.

• Part the Second •

Wherein we will carry out our bombastic crusade.

Take credence and learn of the ways we route the light from the land.

…

• Part the Final •

Wherein we are rightfully heralded as gods; and forge the grand tapestry.

Take pride in our accomplishments, which benefit you and all who follow us.

…